Jerry Reese presser: Or, what he would say if he was having one

New York Giants coach Ben McAdoo will speak to the media Wednesday morning from the NFL Scouting Combine. General manager Jerry Reese will not speak Wednesday, nor is he scheduled to speak at all during the combine.

Perhaps Reese just wants to save his cliches and only have to use them once, at his annual pre-NFL Draft press conference. Anyway, since I have covered enough Reese pressers and read enough Reese transcripts to have his go-to lines down pat I figured it was time to put together a an imaginary Reese combine press conference.

Below, this is pretty much how Reese’s presser would go. If he held one, of course.

NOTE: Since we’re doing an “imaginary” press conference, we’re using an imaginary prop. Since “Never Say Never” McAdoo has his own bag of cliches, we have a McAdoo puppet in the background. We will periodically check in with “Never Say Never” for reactions.

Question: Jerry, how are the negotiations going with Jason Pierre-Paul? Will you have a long-term deal with him before free agency?

Reese: I am not going to talk about contracts, guys. We like JPP, we tagged him, we want him to be here.

Perplexed-looking McAdoo puppet holds up sign that says “Who is JPP? Can he play left tackle?”

Question: OK, Jerry. We’re here at the combine. What position groups are you focused on?

Reese: We want to upgrade every position.

Question: Have you made a determination yet as to whether or Ereck Flowers will stay at left tackle?

Reese: We will keep all of our options open. We still believe he has a chance to be a good football player for us.

McAdoo puppet wipes a pretend tear from his left cheek.

Question: Jerry, you had Russell Okung in for a free-agent visit last year. He is a free agent again, so will you pursue him?

Reese: We investigate everything. Again, we keep all of our options open.

McAdoo puppet nods approvingly at JR’s ability to double up on a cliche in consecutive answers.

Question: The Big Blue View Rules for Draft Success say don’t take a running back in the first round. Would you take Christian McCaffrey at No. 23?

Reese: What’s Big Blue View? Anyway, best player available!

McAdoo puppet turns to PR boss Pat Hanlon while holding up a “what’s Big Blue View?” sign.

Question: Since you guys made the playoffs last season is there less pressure on you than there was last year at this time?

Reese: There is always pressure. Nobody works harder than I do. It’s about putting the fifth trophy in the case.

Question: At the end of last season you said it was a mystery why the offense didn’t score enough points. Have you solved that mystery?

Reese: Well, I have some ideas but it would give our 2017 opponents a competitive advantage to discuss them.

McAdoo puppet smiles because of Reese’s deft use of one of his own favorite cliches.

Question: Jerry, Robbie Gould is a free agent. Any chance you will bring Josh Brown back as placekicker next year?

Reese: C’mon, Kratch! I am not answering any questions about Josh Brown. Why do you think I made Valentine write about an imaginary press conference in the first place?

Question: With so much of your cap space committed to JPP, do you think you have a chance to keep Johnathan Hankins?

Reese: We would like to keep all of our players. Mutters under his breath “except the ones we’ve already gotten rid of.”

McAdoo puppet points proudly to his “Never Say Never” t-shirt.

Question: So much of the focus last offseason was on defense. Does your focus this offseason need to be on adding players to the offense?

Reese: We need good players. Offense, defense, special teams. We just need good players everywhere.

McAdoo puppet holds up sign that says “what are defense and special teams?”