clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

Deflated Balls - Getting My Weird Al On

New, comments

How long can you listen to Tom Brady talk about prepping his balls with a straight face? If you're like me, not for long.

Greg M. Cooper-USA TODAY Sports

The National Football League has been taken over by #DeflateGate. Even the "Main Stream" media has gotten in on the act, covering Belichick and Brady's press conferences as if the Super Bowl was this Sunday instead of next.

And the frenzy is well earned. The integrity of the game is serious business. Employees and representatives of a franchise simply can not go outside of the rule book to gain a competitive advantage.

But that being said, can the cause of all this be any more ridiculous? DeflateGate is crying out for parody, and I'm here to answer that call.


Deflated Balls

-To the music of AC/DC's classic "Big Balls"

Well I'm ever upper class high society

God's gift to football notoriety.

I always prep my footballs,

I swear they're never soft,


But the sports pages say I've got the softest balls of all!


I've got soft balls.

Oh I've got soft balls

They're such soft balls

deflated soft balls

He's got soft balls

And she's got soft balls

But I've got the softest balls of them all!


My balls are always legal

Within a pound or two...

They all get checked and "prepped" again

If you are a wide receiver

No one can take you further

Everybody says I throw

great cold-weather spirals!


I've got soft balls.

Oh I've got soft balls

They're such soft balls

deflated soft balls

He's got soft balls

And she's got soft balls

But I've got the softest balls of them all!


Some balls are at 13 pounds

And some at 12 and a half

but when there a couple below that

They're the balls that I like best.

My balls are always bouncing

Gronk spikes to the left and to the right

It's my belief that my hard balls

should be deflated every night


I've got soft balls.

Oh I've got soft balls

They're such soft balls

deflated soft balls

He's got soft balls

And she's got soft balls

But I've got the softest balls of them all!