On Sunday Night Football, the beloved New York Giants who really represent everything warm, right, and beautiful in this cold world were handed their sixth straight loss to the Dallas Cowboys who represent the cold lifelessness of the void.
Here at Big Blue View, we've gone through the 5 stages of grief. If you never took psychology in high school, let's do a quick overview:
Stage 1 - Denial and Isolation
"There's no way Perry Fewell could've played Kiwi for 46 snaps yesterday. He simply couldn't have!"
Stage 2 - Anger
Stage 3 - Bargaining
"But, but, but, we're just keeping Robert Ayers fresh for the playoffs, r-r-r-right? Yeah, that's it!"
Stage 4 - Depression
"I can't bear to watch this game. I'll be a dark room somewhere. Go away."
Stage 5 - Acceptance
"I expected a four man rush on that final drive. I expected Ayers and Moore to be out. I am at peace with the suck."
I'd like to believe that most you are now with me at Stage 5. If not, I hope you get there soon. We still have 5 games left, we have to hang in there together. Oh, were there Pro Football Focus grades to go over? Sorry, I got a little sidetracked. Let's get to it.
The Destroyer Of Worlds (Offensive MVP)
Odell Beckham Jr., (+3.7) - Bow down, for thy savior has come. O Destroyer of Worlds, we sacrifice our hamstrings to thee. Let thy glorious radiance rain down absurd catches for a millenia to come. You are the chosen one and we have chosen thee.
(Sidenote: For those wondering why his score isn't +eleventy billion, it's because anything above +3.0 for a wide receiver is indicative of an absurd day by PFF's system. Very few +3.5 games in the league)
You Made The Offense Relevant (Key Offensive Contributors)
J.D. Walton (+3.6) - What? I think Walton had a good game, it's just kind of shocking that he had THIS good of a game. Now I'm seriously questioning whether having a rookie in over his head like Richburg was holding back Walton. I don't know how much that affects him, but it shouldn't be this much. Good on Walton, he finally got in a good game.
Geoff Schwartz (+2.3) - I stated the importance of having Schwartz back on the team. He struggled a bit in pass protection, allowing 1 QB sack and an additional 4 QB hurries, but I mean, c'mon. This dude is a guard that is forced into playing tackle after practicing for maybe a day or two after coming back from injured reserve from a foot injury. I'm willing to cut him some slack. His work against the run, however, was fantastic. He continuously sprang Andre Williams for big runs on his side, and got downfield on all of those nice Rashad Jennings screen plays.
Andre Williams (+2.2) - He was a rumblin', tumblin', sometimes fumblin' beast in this game. He had a few of his patented "oh noes, my first read is blocked so I'm screwed" plays, but for the most part he showed off better vision, better patience, and some real ferocity. He averaged 2.8 yards per carry AFTER CONTACT. That's incredible (and goes to show that we still stink at run blocking). He also forced three missed tackles and he was absolutely perfect in pass protection. An overall very good night for the rookie.
Daniel Fells (+2.0) - Jerry Reese's most underrated signing by far. He played 35 snaps to Larry Donnell's 60, but he made the most of them. It seemed like every catch he made, he was dragging defenders en route to getting a first down on a 3rd and 12 or something. Was targeted 4 times, caught 3 for 35 yards. He's one guy that I want back on this team next year.
Eli Manning (+1.1) - One crappy throw doesn't undo the rest of his night. That ridiculous OBJ catch isn't possible if it isn't thrown perfectly. Eli had his faults but overall, I agree with PFF in that this was a better game for the QB. He needed this too, after that horrid performance against the San Francisco 49ers.
Physicality? What's That? I Dunno (Offensive GOAT)
Larry Donnell (-4.8) - Virtually ALL of this score was because of his run blocking. The guy knows how to run routes and catch passes great, but it's like when he has to run block his arms magically disappear. One of the great Houdini tricks of our time, "the no-handed except when he makes a ridiculous catch tight end."
Penalty Parker And Left Guard LOLZ (Offensive Villains)
Adam Snyder (-2.4) - I think left guard is cursed. Nobody gets a good grade there. Adam Snyder was awful in the run game. I specifically see him whiffing on several blocks. Is he an upgrade over Weston Richburg? I'm not ready to say that. Is he a downgrade over Weston Richburg? I'm not ready to say that either. It was his first game in extended action, so there's obviously going to be rust, but it did not look good out there.
Preston Parker (-1.5) - Wasn't really too much regarding his play, which was slightly below average. What pushed him into the red was a bad penalty grade since he committed one.
The Unlikeliest Of Heroes Has Risen....For Today (Defensive MVP)
Mark Herzlich (+1.5) - Two stops in the run game en route to a +2.4 grade versus the run. Herzlich crashing downfield is a good thing and further cements the belief that he should be an outside linebacker only. Having him in the middle neutralizes his strengths. The guy doesn't have great range, but his instincts and hitting ability lend him to the strong side where he has to travel less far to get to the ball carrier.
Big Hank Takes His Usual Spot With Two Guys Who Don't Have To Tackle (Defensive Contributors)
Quintin Demps (+1.4) - Okay, what's more surprising, the fact that Walton got Kudos or Demps did? According to PFF, he was targeted only once in coverage and didn't allow any catches. Kind of hard to believe but there's literally nothing about this team that shocks me anymore. Literally nothing. Demps epitomizes us. Mostly bad and in the end will let you down, but for awhile it looks like something might actually work!
Johnathan Hankins (+1.1) - Settling into his usual spot in the Kudos section, he didn't have his best game this week but was one of the few defensive linemen that wasn't embarrassed (Jason Pierre-Paul, who graded out positively, was the other). He continues his torrid pace as a pass-rusher, netting a QB hit and hurry in 25 pass rush snaps.
Zack Bowman (+1.1) - Hey now, every PFF review I'm left wondering why Bowman has a negative grade for his coverage. Not today, though, as he was targeted twice, allowing no catches and getting a pass defensed.
Hosley-Level Bad (Defensive GOAT)
Jayron Hosley (-2.5) - Allowed 3 catches on 3 targets for 62 yards and a touchdown. Didn't do anything to help out in the run game. Now that's "Hosley-level bad."
Kiwi, The Beezers, and Some Old Friends (Defensive Villains)
Mathias Kiwanuka (-2.3) - 46 snaps. At this point, do you guys really want me to spell out what goes wrong with Kiwi each week or just write down the number of snaps he has compared to the combined number of Damontre Moore and Robert Ayers (29 snaps combined) and we can just LOL at it together? Let me know in the comments below. Thanks.
Devon Kennard (-1.9) - So I've done film studies on Kiwanuka and John Jerry in the pre-season, saying there was hope for them this year. They proceed to do awful. I did a film study last week on Devon Kennard and look at what he does now. This was pretty much all on his run defense as he failed to get to the edge to contain Demarco Murray.
Mike Patterson (-1.5) - Had a solid game last week but it's back to reality for "Fat Patt." It's tough thinking that it might be time, but what made him so good was his first step as this really thick, rotund bowling ball. On Sunday, the bowling ball was more of a "granny roll" than a strike however.
Spencer Paysinger (-1.5) - I think Paysinger is still trying to chase down James Hanna on that busted coverage on third and short.
Jameel McClain (-1.4) - So. Many. Beezers. It's hard to think that Mark Herzlich of all the guys got a great grade but here it is. He allowed 3 catches on 5 targets for 32 yards and a touchdown to Jason Witten.
Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie (-1.1) - His stats look awful, allowing 5 catches on 5 targets for 43 yards and a TD, but looking at the situation, two of those catches were after the defensive line allowed Romo about 7 to 8 seconds to throw. That's the reason why he's only mildly negative.