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What Jerry Reese SHOULD have said about the 2-6 Giants

The Giants' GM addressed the media Tuesday. His remarks were apparently less than satisfying to many fans. We offer a suggestion on what he could have said.

Jerry Reese
Jerry Reese
Pat Lovell-USA TODAY Sports

New York Giants' GM Jerry Reese held a press conference to address his team's 2-6 start on Tuesday. We know what he said, and from the tone of the comments we know that many of you aren't thrilled with his remarks.

I'm not sure what he was supposed to say. He admitted, albeit vaguely, that some mistakes have been made. He admitted, without throwing anyone under the bus directly, that not all of his draft picks have worked out. He backed his coaching staff while admitting "people do get fired" when teams don't win. He tried to sound optimistic that the team could get back in the NFC East title chase.

Maybe you were expecting Reese to be more direct. To call people out. To name names. To tell you exactly which decisions he wishes he could have mulligans on. Maybe you expected something more like the following from the GM:

"Good morning, ladies and gentlemem. Although I really don't know what's good about it. The team stinks and now we've ACTUALLY WON two games and totally screwed our chances to draft Jadeveon Clowney.

"You know, this whole awful season is my fault. I effed the whole thing up.

"What was I thinking, letting Ahmad Bradshaw, Osi Umenyiora and Martellus Bennett go? I wish I could remember who told me Brandon Myers could play. I'd fire him on the spot! I should have known that Chris Snee would turn out to be a cripple and that David Baas stinks even when he is healthy.

"And those injuries! Man, what the heck is trainer Ronnie Barnes doing? If he didn't have those pictures I'd fire him, too, and get somebody who knows how to prevent hamstring pulls, blown-out knees and neck injuries. Oh, and from now on I'm telling our scouts not to ever again recommend a player to me who has suffered so much as a bruise during a game. Those are all signs, you know.

"I need to hire a new psychic, too. This one didn't tell me Stevie Brown, David Wilson, Andre Brown and all those other guys would get hurt. She couldn't tell me Mark Herzlich would stink, though I should have known that after the first two years we had the guy. Why didn't the dang psychic make JPP have that back surgery at the end of last season instead of waiting so long it screwed up this season, too?

"Man, as for my drafts ... ugh! Well, you can see for yourselves that I don't have a clue there anymore. Marvin Austin? Jerrel Jernigan? Travis Beckum? Jayron Hosley? Phillip Dillard? Man, I've stunk up the joint. And I don't know anything about linebackers. Thank God the Carolina Panthers let good ones fall out of the sky.

"Then again, when it comes to the draft what's the point? I should just trade all of our picks for old, washed-up guys. That old codger we've got for a head coach will never play the future All-Pros I give him, anyway. If I got him Clowney, he'd probably make him sit behind Mathias Kiwanuka for five, six years ... maybe until Kiwanuka needed a wheelchair to get on the field.

"Don't forget, that old guy who coaches us, what's his name again?, I didn't hire him. He was here when I got here. If ownership, the media and the fans hadn't  threatened to kill my family I would have kicked him out the door already. His coordinators, too.

"You know, our quarterback isn't very good, either. We won two Super Bowls in spite of the fact that we have the wrong Manning. That idiot Ernie Accorsi should have just kept Philip Rivers or drafted Ben Roethlisberger. I'd trade him, too, and draft Teddy Bridgewater except that, that, that ... old man we have for a coach would play Curtis Painter, anyway.

"Well, folks, have a nice day! I hope we win the rest of our games even though I know that's hopeless since I screwed up soooooo bad and we have no players. Go Giants!"

Would that have made you happier, Giants' fans?