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Farley's Football Fodder: Are We There Yet Edition

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Mike Farley takes a look back at the past week's NFL stories, with a little humor and a bit of reality

Happy weekend, fellas. There are just four more weekends of full 16-game action (okay, 14 if you don't count Thursday and Monday), and playoff pictures are rounding into shape. Sort of. Honestly, the playoff field can change on a dime in a two-Sunday span this time of year, which is why we as Giants fans are on pins and needles right now as the Redskins and Cowboys close in and our schedule is positively brutal. (side note to Giants' secondary and especially Corey Webster--you do you know Pierre Garcon is a Division III receiver, right? Not that I'm dwelling on it or anything). Anyway, I'm getting tired of playoff scenarios already. Please wake me up with the Jets and Chargers and Rams are eliminated.

Last week I published my column right about the time the Jovan Belcher story was breaking. I know this column is always fun and only mildly serious, but that is one horrible situation in KC. The dude orphaned a little girl, shot himself in front of three coaches, shook two families and the Chiefs and Kansas City and the NFL to its core with a few pulls of a trigger. I have seen arguments both for the game last Sunday being played and against it. I don't necessarily have a problem with the game being played, but it's hard for me to understand how Romeo Crennel could coach a game like 28 hours after he saw one of his starting linebackers blow his own brains out. Dude, take the day off. Hell, take a month off. It's not like that team is on pace for anything but the top draft pick.

If a coach says he "felt fine" about a post-game handshake, he obviously did not feel fine about it. Now, this wasn't Schwartz-Harbaugh, but something was said. Hey, wait a minute, another Harbaugh in Handshakegate? What is wrong with those guys?

Russell Wilson better than Andrew Luck or RG3? Let's not get carried away, but at the same time, Pete Carroll looks like a genius for starting Wilson over Matt Flynn. He also thinks Wilson has a lot of poise. I mean, Carroll used the word poise about 50 times after Wilson led the Seahawks to a win over the Bears. I'm quite sure Carroll wanted to spoon Wilson and watch chick flicks with him. But whatever, Wilson surely doesn't suck and the Seahawks could be dangerous if they nab a wild card. Unless of course they draw the Packers. Then Aaron Rodgers and Clay Matthews will bitch slap them to kingdom come.

This Chuck Pagano story keeps getting better, and let's hope it continues to do so. Pagano finished his chemotherapy and there is a chance he could return to coach the Colts for their regular season finale on December 30. Speaking of which, did you guys see Andrew Luck lead the Colts from 12 points down with like four minutes left to stun the Lions in Detroit? That kid has poise, I tell you.

The Cardinals are this close to starting me or you at quarterback.

Okay, why is every link I'm giving you from That's where Google took me with every link. Damn you, Goodell!

Brandon Browner is one of those names that lives in Giants fan infamy, along with Herman Edwards, Flipper Anderson, DeSean Jackson. Okay, maybe not to that level, but you know what I mean.

Ochocinco (sorry dude, I'm calling you that now even if you decided to change your name back to what your papa gave you) vows he will return to the NFL. There is positively no way I hold my breath here.

I have no problem with Antrel Rolle wanting the Giants' D to have more "dog" in them. Lawrence Taylor would surely approve of that philosophy. And you don't want to go overboard with praise for the other team's QB, but you can't give the other team bulletin board material either. I have an idea--just play better defense, guys.

You know, I don't profess to know every scheme there is in the NFL, but to me the Wide 9 seems hokey and ineffective. If it was anything else, more teams would be employing it. As it is, the Eagles aren't even employing the guy who created it.

Um, bashing Rex Ryan can be a fun spectator sport. But him sticking with Mark Sanchez against Jacksonville is downright idiotic. The unemployment line waits, my fine friend.

Okay, I am not a fan of Rush Limbaugh. But I could not not share the sheer ridiculousness of his rant about the NFL and how it should have bowling alleys on the sidelines. That is not funny on any level.

So I've been a fan of Counting Crows since their awesome debut in 1994. And they delivered two more great albums in the '90's. Then after Y2K the band kind of lost its edge a bit. But while writing this column, one of their new songs came up in my iTunes, "Borderline." I'm sitting here and it's nagging at me, like "Where have I heard this crappy melody before?" And then BAM, as if Rush Limbaugh farted in my face, it hit me--it's a MADONNA COVER. Please tell me you're kidding, guys. I must now cleanse my ears with some vintage Iron Maiden.

Today is my birthday, and I'm a simple man. I wanted my wife to get me Dunkin' Donuts, which she did. We are going to my favorite diner tonight, Hubbard Ave. Diner in Madison, to have the best fried chicken on the planet. That's all I'm gonna divulge if you know what I mean. Now if only the Giants can win one for Mikey tomorrow, it will have been an awesome birthday weekend.

Enjoy the weekend and the games tomorrow, everyone.