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NFL Week 17 Predictions: Mikey's Crystal Ball

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We've come to the end of the regular season, with a full slate of divisional games to pontificate on

Tony Romo
Tony Romo
Tim Heitman-USA TODAY Sports

Can you guys believe how the end of the regular season has slapped us upside the head? Most NFL fans truly lament this time of year as they await the string of many Sundays without football until most of baseball season is behind us. There is one more Sunday of Red Zone before advertiser nation gets to impose its will on us by making us sit through commercials during playoff games, and before the NFL imposes its Joe Buck-Jim Nantz-Al Michaels trio of lame play-by-play calling. But hey, it's not all bad. This year, even though we're not likely to see our G-men in the fold, the field of playoff-bound teams is deep in its awesomeness. So for that, I will endure bad commercials and bad announcers. After all, there is always the pause function on the DVR. Here are the picks for Week 17.....

NY Jets at Buffalo--The bowl of supreme mediocrity, but both teams will finish with below-mediocre records. Bills 19, Jets 16

Carolina at New Orleans--Such promise for Cam Newton, such a horrible season for a Panthers' team we expected more from. But it pales in comparison to how Bountygate slammed the door on the Saints' playoff aspirations. Saints 30, Panthers 20

Tampa Bay at Atlanta--My advice to Mike Smith is to play all of your starters so they are not stale for that first playoff game in two weeks. Falcons 27, Bucs 24

Chicago at Detroit--The Bears need a win to get in, and the Packers to beat the Vikings. I don't think they get that first part. Lions 28, Bears 24

Philadelphia at NY Giants--I think I picked the Giants to win every week this season. But I've seen enough underachievement to know what lies ahead. And let's face it -- Andy Reid has Tom Coughlin's number. Eagles 34, Giants 27

Jacksonville at Tennessee--This one is even less compelling than Bills/Jets. Titans 17, Jaguars 10

Houston at Indianapolis--There is absolutely no way the Texans overcome Chuckstrong. And that could mean they have to play a wild card game. Colts 26, Texans 23

Cleveland at Pittsburgh--How many empty seats will there be in Pittsburgh as the disappointing Steelers will do what they don't often do--miss the playoffs. Steelers 23, Browns 17

Baltimore at Cincinnati--The Bengals' prize for reaching the postseason? A likely trip to either Houston or New England. Can you say "one and done?" Bengals 17, Ravens 16

Arizona at San Francisco--The Niners have looked so awesome most of the season, and yet so vulnerable a few times. The Cards have looked like a team with me at quarterback all of the time. Niners 31, Cardinals 6

Oakland at San Diego--I would say this is Norv's last game coaching the Bolts, but nothing Dean Spanos does makes any sense. Chargers 20, Raiders 10

Kansas City at Denver--It's been a terrible year for the Chiefs in many ways, and I'm sure they just want the misery to end. Broncos 27, Chiefs 13

Green Bay at Minnesota--The Vikings win and they're in as a wild card. But they can lose and get in as well. The they want a bye considering how the Giants upset them a year ago? Yes, they do. Packers 38, Vikings 35

Miami at New England--You just know the Patriots will secretly breathe a sigh of relief once the Giants are eliminated. Patriots 29, Dolphins 17

St. Louis at Seattle--The Seahawks have outscored their opponents the last three weeks by a cumulative score of 150-30. Since when did they become the scariest team in the NFL? Because I guarantee you no one wants to face them right now. Seahawks 38, Rams 10

Dallas at Washington--There is no better NFL theater than win-and-in NFC East games. America is ready for some January RG3 and America's Team is ready for some January TRV (Tony Romo Vacation). Redskins 27, Cowboys 24

Last Week: 10-6

Season Record: 154-86