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NFL Picks, Week 3: 'Greek' says ...

Crystal_ball_medium Well, after last week’s performance I may have to go back to commenting about each game individually. Going .500 isn’t terrible, but not where I wanted to be after Week 1. Of course, picking half of the games right against the spread might be enough to get me a segment on SportsCenter. There’s always room for another Goldberg with mediocre picks coming to you via satellite from the local OTB, which brings me to this week's rant.

I understand the synergy inherent between ABC and ESPN being under the Disney umbrella. I went to business school, I get it. But here’s my problem: Why do we have to be inundated with clips from ABC shows on the top 10 plays of the day? It started off innocently enough with some clips from Dancing with the Stars. It was a pseudo sport with some former or even current athlete’s participating. It was a stretch, but I could understand showing 10 seconds of a Jerry Rice cha-cha.

Then the clips with 'C List' celebrities started showing up. I’m trying to catch a few sports highlights before heading off to work; I don’t need to see Adam Carolla flail about for 30 seconds. Then the real retardation began. A spot in the top 10 dedicated to Wipeout? Well John Anderson hosts it, plus that guy who was on Talk Soup 10 years ago, sure that counts as a sport. Plus, the contestants are wearing spandex; that should be good enough for the viewers at home.

Now this week we have hit a new low, if that’s even possible. A spot in the top 10 has been dedicated to people trying to break Guinness world records on Regis and Kelly. These aren’t even sports related, they’re showing clips of people blowing up balloons or throwing ice cream. I can’t remember exactly what happened without the help of some hypnotherapy as I am still trying to repress the memories.

What has happened to ESPN? Not only are they continuing to move away from sports in an alarming fashion for a sports network, but they are now promoting shows that are running at the same time as the show they are airing. Does the average ESPN viewer fit the target demographic of Regis and Kelly? Do the heads of the network want people switching over to watch ABC instead of SportsCenter? The World Wide Leader has been crumbling for years now, and unless some serious competition arises from the cable/satellite wasteland, we will continue to see this shameless cross promotion waste valuable airtime that should be dedicated to something like, oh I don’t know, sports perhaps.

The Picks

Kansas City at Atlanta (-5.5)
Cleveland (+2.5) at Baltimore
Oakland (+9.5) at Buffalo
Tampa Bay (+3) at Chicago
Dallas (-3) at Green Bay
New Orleans (+5.5) at Denver
Jacksonville (+5) at Indianapolis
Carolina at Minnesota (-3.5)
Miami (+12.5) at New England
Cincinnati (+13.5) at NY Giants
Pittsburgh at Philadelphia (-3.5)
Detroit (+4) at San Francisco
St. Louis at Seattle (-9.5)
Houston at Tennessee (-4.5)
Arizona at Washington (-3)
NY Jets at San Diego (-9)

Last Week: 7-7-1
Season: 18-12-1