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Kiper vs. McShay -- battle of the draft experts

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I got a kick out of comparing the most recent mock drafts of ESPN draft experts Todd McShay and Mel Kiper.

McShay's mock has the Giants taking Tennessee linebacker Jerod Mayo in the first round and Arkansas State safety Tyrell Johnson in the second.

Kiper's mock has the Giants taking Johnson IN THE FIRST ROUND.

How can the two ESPN analysts differ so drastically?

Well, the Serious Sports News Network has a satirical look at the battle between the two ESPN experts.

After years of bad blood, Kiper and McShay will finally have a chance to settle their beef man-to-man. SSNN has learned that the two competitors will square off in a mixed martial arts-style match, to take place in an octagon that will be specially built outside the ESPN offices in Bristol, Conn.

For his part, Kiper isn't fretting about the possibility of McShay doing much damage. "I've seen a lot of tape of Todd, and I don't think he's a legit MMA prospect. He only put up 2 reps on the bench press, his vertical jump was paltry, and he doesn't have the natural swivel in his hips to keep up with me. He did run a good time in the 40, but the octagon doesn't allow for that type of speed to come into play."

"While I don't have the measurable strength of a Kiper, I am more of an athlete. Kiper is just a lot of dead weight, starting with his hair. That alone must weigh five pounds with all that product in it," said an equally confident McShay. "And besides, he doesn't do a good job of playing in space, and his time in the three-cone drill was pathetic. And you know, that's a good drill to indicate agility, which is absolutely necessary inside the octagon. Frankly, my grade on Kiper isn't very high."

Ah, if only this were true. I'd pay money to see somebody slam Kiper to the ground and mess up that perfectly combed hair.

By the way, if you are interested in a scouting report on Johnson, you can find it at NFL Draft Countdown. The report will leave you thinking the Giants would be nuts to take this guy in the first round.