After a less than stellar opening week (7-7-2) the prognosticator of putridity has returned with his Week 2 picks.
Houston at Carolina (-6.5) - Houston looked good last week against the Chiefs, but after watching a few episodes of "Hard Knocks" this week, I've come to a startling realization: The Chiefs suck.
Atlanta at Jacksonville (-10) - A pretty high line this week for a team that scored only 10 points last week, but all you need to know is this: Joey Harrington.
Indianapolis (-7) at Tennessee - Tennessee is a tough team, especially at home, but how can you go against the Colts?
San Francisco (+3) at St. Louis - The first upset of the day. The greatest show on turf apparently has moved to Detroit, at least according to Jon Kitna. San Francisco did not look good on Monday night, not that anyone saw them in the first place, but Frank Gore against this defense will get it done.
Green Bay at NY Giants (pick) - Giants special teams haven't been anything to get excited about in recent years, but all they need to do in this game is learn how to make a fair catch, and this game is theirs.
Buffalo (+9) at Pittsburgh - This week's second upset, and first completely biased pick. After all that's happened this week in Buffalo, this team can either rally around their fallen teammate or completely fall apart. With the good news coming out of Buffalo and my no nonsense journalistic integrity on the line, I say this is the beginning of something special in Buffalo.
Cincinnati (-6.5) at Cleveland - What used to be a match-up of mediocre teams has turned into a match-up between a slightly better than average team, and a team that Michigan is scheduling for homecoming next season.
New Orleans (-3) at Tampa Bay - Surprisingly, Jon Gruden didn't end up trading for Charlie Frye. You never know when having 5 quarterbacks on the roster can come in handy.
Minnesota at Detroit (-3) - I feel dirty.
Dallas (-3.5) at Miami - After week one, Cam Cameron has a 0% approval rating according to ESPN.com. That means, I could be at least as good a coach as he is, or at least make some money off of his incompetence.
Seattle (-3) at Arizona - Remember when Edgerrin James was an elite back in the NFL? Those were the days.
NY Jets at Baltimore (Off) - As long as the refs don't grease up the footballs again for Baltimore, those in the New York area will be treated to another week of hilarious "Hanging Chad" headlines from the local papers. NY Jets beat writers are so topical.
Kansas City at Chicago (-12) - I watched Hard Knocks again and the Chiefs might actually be the only thing to look worse in HD than in a standard broadcast.
Oakland at Denver (-9.5) - JaMarcus Russell is signed, so Oakland has that going for them, which is nice.
San Diego at New England (-3.5) - New England won't have to worry about their camera man being barred from the stadium this week. I'm sure Sully in row 10 will send over some shots from his camera phone. Belichick is "In" you know?
Washington at Philadelphia (-7) - Donovan McNabb moved around more like Art Donovan last week. This week he gets things straightened out.