Top 10 things that should happen to Ronde Barber

by Ed Valentine on Jan 4, 2008 7:14 AM EST in News Comment 10 comments

We more or less opened the 'what would you like to see happen to Ronde Barber Sunday' can of worms during Thursday's discussion of his inflammatory comments about the Giants.

So, here is a Top 10 list of things I would like to see happen to Barber. I'm sure I don't have to encourage you to add a few of your own.

10. Gets burned for a touchdown by Sinorice Moss. THAT would be embarrassing.

9. Intercepts an Eli pass, only to be tackled by Eli and fumble the ball back to the Giants. The Barber fumbling issue strikes again!

8. Gets dragged about 10 yards while trying to tackle Kevin Boss.

7. Suffers a broken jaw requiring his mouth to be wired shut when pancaked by Madison Hedgecock.

6. Collides with cornerback Brian Kelly while trying to make a play, knocking both Tampa Bay cornerbacks out of the game.

5. With Eli scrambling, Barber comes up to make the tackle. Instead of sliding, Eli stiff arms Barber, drops him to the ground, screams "how's that for leadership?" at him and gains 10 more yards.

4. Tries foolishly to tackle Brandon Jacobs, gets demolished, crawls bleeding to the sideline and announces he is retiring immediately to host a cooking show.

3. Giants put 375-pound Manny Wright on offense for one play, and use him to squash Barber into the Raymond James Stadium turf.

2. Pulls up lame trying to chase down Plaxico Burress after Burress blows past him for a 75-yard touchdown reception.

1. Gives up the game-winning touchdown reception, no matter who he is covering.

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#4

is priceless

I'd like to see Juggy (Brandon Jacobs....short for "Juggernaut" from X-Men) carry him on his back for a TD, running right past Matt Lauer....errrr Tiki Barber on the Bucs sideline

by Jim Schmiedeberg on Jan 4, 2008 8:27 AM EST reply actions 0 recs

I wouldn't mind seeing Eli pull a Nuke Laloosh

and uncork a pass to the sidelines right at Tiki. His excuse could always be that Tiki was wearing blue, and he forgot he had retired since he was so low-key about it all...

by cjmulrain on Jan 4, 2008 8:45 AM EST reply actions 0 recs

That's good

When I initially wrote this I wasn't aware Tiki would be on the Bucs' sideline.

by Ed Valentine on Jan 4, 2008 11:24 AM EST up reply actions 0 recs

i would also like to see jacobs to a dance on ronde's back while running for a score. would also like to see plax burn his stupid bald ass several times. and thots of eli stepping up to him tho is wishful thinking. not trying to dump on our boy (and playoff chances) at this point but if theres one thing eli DOESNT do its try to make tackles after throwing INTs. tho he will make a real nasty face after he does it, like he just bit into a burger and found some pubic hair in it. bleeeecch.

by DieEaglesDie on Jan 4, 2008 9:55 AM EST reply actions 0 recs

all i want

is for plax to go over ronde for a TD catch, then ask ronde to hold the ball for him while he takes a bow.

by SBakerTheTouchdownMaker on Jan 4, 2008 11:18 AM EST reply actions 0 recs

Yessss!

And I wouldn't even care about the ensuing 15-yard penalty.

by Ed Valentine on Jan 4, 2008 11:25 AM EST up reply actions 0 recs

Two hilarious thoughts- It would be hilarious

if Plax caught a touchdown pass, reached inside the padding on the goalpost, grabbed a huge binky, passifier (whatever) and took it over to Tiki and told him (while the cameras were on him so you could read his lips) "Suck on this!"

It would also be hilarious if Plax caught a TD pass on Ronde, and reached again into the padding on the goalpost, and as he holds the phone, he says - My cellphone has a lot better coverage than you have!"

by GAgiantfan on Jan 4, 2008 12:25 PM EST reply actions 0 recs