FanPost

Frozen Humor Nine-One-Dumb, what is your emergency? Edition

What is our society coming to? LOL.

These are honest to goodness real nine one one calls and conversations, please enjoy, comment and vote.

1)

Dispatcher: "nine-one-one, what is your emergency?"

Caller: " I'm trying to reach nine-eleven, but my phone doesn't have an eleven on it."

Dispatcher:" This is nine-eleven."

Caller:" I thought you just said it was nine-one-one."

Dispatcher: "Yes, Ma'am. Nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same thing."

Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I'm not stupid.

2)

Dispatcher:"nine-one-one, what is your emergency?"

Caller:"My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only 2 minutes apart!"

Dispatcher:"Is this her first child?"

Caller:"No, you idiot! This is her husband!"

3)

Dispatcher: 911
Caller: Yeah, I'm having trouble breathing. I'm all out of breath. Damn....I think I'm going to pass out.
Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from?
Caller: I'm at a pay phone. North and Foster damn....
Dispatcher: Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic?
Caller: No...
Dispatcher: What were you doing before you started having trouble breathing?
Caller: Running from the Police.

4)

Dispatcher: 911.
Caller: Help! Help! Send the police! I been shot.
Dispatcher: You said you've been shot?
Caller: I been shot!
Dispatcher: How many times were you shot?
Caller: This is the first time.

5)

Dispatcher: Nine-one-one
Caller: Hi, is this the police?
Dispatcher: This is 911. Do you need police assistance?
Caller: Well, I don't know who to call. Can you tell me how to cook a turkey? I've never cooked one before.

6)

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?
Caller : Someone broke into my house and took a bite out of my ham and cheese sandwich .
Dispatcher : Excuse me?
Caller : I made a ham and cheese sandwich and left it on the kitchen table and when I came back from the bathroom, someone had taken a bite out of it.
Dispatcher : Was anything else taken?
Caller : No, but this has happened to me before and I'm sick and tired of it!

7)

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?
Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from the brown house on the corner.
Dispatcher: Do you have an address?
Caller: No, I'm wearing a blouse and slacks, why?

8)

Dispatcher: 911. What's the nature of your emergency?

Caller: I need to know what I can do about someone who came into my home and put boogers on

my wall.

Dispatcher: Did you invite this person into your home?

Caller: Yes, but I didn't give him permission to put boogers on the walls.

9)

Dispatcher: 911. What is your emergency?

Caller: you have got people working in the school right now. And they've been working all night

violating the noise code over here.

Dispatcher: Sir, a noise complaint is not an emergency call. You'll have to call on the business line.

Caller: Well how about if I shoot them, would it be an emergency then?

Dispatcher: Sure would.

Caller: Alright.

[sound of 2 gunshots]

Caller: Hi, I'm back and I would like to report a shooting.

10)

Dispatcher: 911. What's the nature of your emergency?

Caller: [no response

]Dispatcher: 911. What's the nature of your emergency?

Caller: [tentatively]: Hello?

Dispatcher: Yes, this is 911, can I help you?

Caller: You have the wrong number!

11)

Dispatcher: 911. What is the nature of your emergency?

Caller: Yes, I just wanted to let you know that I have some information that will help you

solve many of your cases.

Dispatcher: Okay, go ahead with that information

Caller: I am prepared to meet with the detectives and to reveal the true identity of

Cinderella's stepmother.

Dispatcher: [Pause] Okay.

12)

Dispatcher: 911.

Caller: I am trapped in my house.

Dispatcher: Trapped? Is someone holding you there?

Caller: "Someone? No. But there is a frog on the front porch.

Dispatcher: A frog?

Caller: Yes, a frog.

Dispatcher: Okay, but what is preventing you from leaving the house?

Caller: I told you. There is a frog on the front porch and I'm afraid of frogs.

Dispatcher: And you don't have another door to the house?

Caller: No. There is only one door and I can't get out of the house with the frog sitting there.

Dispatcher: Why don't you take a broom and sweep the frog off the porch?

Female Caller: I can't do that. I told you, I am afraid of frogs. He might get me.

Dispatcher: Ma'am, this is not an emergency, I've done what I can. Have a nice day.

Again, enjoy, comment and vote and wonder what the hell our society is coming to.

FanPosts are written by community members. This is simply a way for community members to express opinions too long to be contained in a comment.

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