I saw today that University of Kansas will be building an $18M hall to house the original Naismith Rules of Basketball. The orignal rules were purchased by an alumnus for $3+ Million and then donated to the University.
However, the original Naismith Rules were then... this is now.
So here are the
The NEW Naismith Rules of Basketball.
Rule 1: Leave no patch of skin void of tattoos...
Rule 2: The basketball must be turned over and palmed on every touch....
Rule 3: Players will take no less that 3 and no more than 7 steps upon taking a layup.
Rule 4: The 'GIVE and GO' will be translated as GIVE me the ball and GO under the basket...
Rule 5: The player must dribble the ball between his legs at least 30 times before thinking about making a move ..
Rule 6: Every drive to the basket is to be accompanied by a flop from the defender regardless of lack of contact.
Rule 7: If a half court heave or beyond is made, the offensive team will be assesed a 3 point deduction due to basket being made out of sheer luck.
Rule 8: A team playing "zone defense" will be allowed to play with 6 defenders to aid them in their attempt to cover up defensive deficiencies
Rule 9: All players must officially register a "cool" nickname in order to play regardless of ability. E.G. Brian Scalabrine "The White Mamba", Jeremy Lin "Linsanity", Steve Francis "Franchise", Amare Stoudemire "Black Jesus", Yao Ming "The Ming Dynasty", and Chauncey Billups "Mr Big Shot".
Rule 10: Every single foul call is to be protested by the accused player with utter disbelief that he could possibly be guilty of a foul. Oh wait, that already happens.In collaboration with my buddy Herman, a heck of an inside player,