FanPost

Frozen Humor dumb pathetic criminals edition

Another edition of a Frozen Humor, and another dumb crooks one, please vote, comment and enjoy.

1)

Spring Valley, California, Thieves broke into a commercial meat freezer in Spring Valley and are not being pursued as a high priority. The freezer is located equidistant between two buildings. The thieves undoubtedly though the freezer belonged to a restaurant and that they were stealing frozen steaks for resale; in reality, it belonged to the restaurant's next door neighbor, the Paradise Valley Road Pet Hospital, which reported 9 euthanized dogs missing.

2)

Grapevine, Texas. in 1993, 24 year old David Bridges stole a TV set so he could watch the Dallas Cowboys. He was arrested when he went back a 2nd time, to get the remote control

3)

Buffalo, Oklahoma, The only explanation police have is that the 2 teenagers must have gotten the bank mixed up with the library. "It is the first attempted library robbery I ever heard of," policeman Ray Dawson said Thursday. Dawson said that the teens held out an empty pillow case and told the librarian, 'put it in.' " Put what in?" the librarian asked. "The money. Put it in and nobody'll get hurt." The teen demanded. The librarian who said there was less than 1$ in collected library fines in his petty cash box, ran out the door and escaped. The teens were arrested hours later in Garden City, Kansas.

4)

Vernon, British Columbia, Raymond Cuthbert entered a drugstore in Vernon, and announced that he and his partner would be back in half an hour to rob the place. Employees called the Royal Canadian Mounted Police who arrested Cuthbert and Robert Phimister when they returned as promised.

5)

Police in Aurora, Illinois, say a man set two big bonfires in his backyard to keep his marijuana plants warm. The tragic flaw in his plan: Police came to investigate the fires—it was about 3am—and spotted three suspicious-looking plants in the yard. Daniel A. Selmon is now charged with felony possession of cannabis and misdemeanor production of cannabis, reports CBS Chicago

6)

Police in Scranton got a freebie on this one: They say a man accidentally dialed 9-1-1 on his phone as he sat in a car making a drug deal, reports the Times Tribune Police listened in on the whole thing, traced the call, and eventually swooped in to arrest the 24-year-old buyer at his apartment. They found a slew of prescription drugs, some brass knuckles, and the cell phone that did him in.

7)

Chicago, Two would be robbers could not have picked a worse place than Z's Sports Tap for their holdup attempt. Much to their chagrin, there was a retirement party going on...for a police officer. There were more than 100 cops in the bar. They quickly subdued the robbers and called on duty police. "That is what makes this job interesting" said a police spokesman. "dumb people"

8)

A Pennsylvania man has become a case study in what not to say to cops. Devonte Davon Jeter was arrested for marijuana possession in May, and in a preliminary hearing yesterday, his lawyer made the case that the pot could have belonged to someone else in his car, the Beaver County times reports. But it seems Jeter had already put a hole in that story: When the 19-year-old left custody in May, he "asked if he could have his weed back," an officer testified. "I don't know what else ‘Can I have my weed back' can mean, other than it's his," said a prosecutor. The judge, not so surprisingly, determined that there was enough evidence to hold the Jeter for trial.

9)

A teenager in Montana learned the hard way that he should have saved his drug dealer's number in his cell phone. Instead, he hit a wrong number when sending a text message, and it went to the county sheriff instead. When the sheriff read, "Hey Dawg, do you have a $20 I can buy right now?" he thought it was a prank, then decided to play along and arranged to meet at a local business, the Helena Independent Records reports.
Not surprisingly, one of the teens fainted after the detective at the meeting spot flashed his badge. Two teens were involved, and one father—who, the sheriff says, was not happy—was there too, so the detective decided to let the parents of both teens handle the situation rather than issuing citations. "Trying to buy drugs is a crime, but it’s probably worse that they had to face their parents," he notes.

10)

Police interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed.

11)

When asked for her occupation, a woman charged with a traffic violation said she was a schoolteacher. The judge rose from the bench. "Madam, I have waited years for a schoolteacher to appear before this court," he smiled with delight. "Now sit down at that table and write 'I will not pass through a red light' five hundred times."

12)

When two service station attendants refused to hand over the cash to an intoxicated robber, the man threatened to call the police. They still refused, so the robber called the police and was arrested.

Thank you, once again, please vote comment and enjoy

(my previous frozen humors are below)

Frozen Humor Dummer Criminals

Frozen Humor Dumm Criminals

Frozen Humor Court Transcripts

Frozen Humor Potpourri edition

Frozen Humor Dumb Criminals edition

FanPosts are written by community members. This is simply a way for community members to express opinions too long to be contained in a comment.

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