FanPost

Frozen Humor more court transcripts edition

Hello everyone, here is another Frozen Humor, this one on court transcripts. Please vote, comment and enjoy.

1)

Q) Well, sir, judging from your answer on how your reacted to the emergency call, it sounds like you are a man of intelligence and good judgement.

A) Thank you, and if I weren't under oath I'd return the compliment

2)

Q) You say that the stairs went down to the basement?

A) Yes.

Q) And these stairs, did they go up also?

3)

Q) Please state the location of your right foot immediately prior to impact.

A) Immediately before the impact, my right foot was located at the immediate end of my right leg.

4)

Q)Doctor, how many of your autopsies have been on dead people?

A) All my autopsies have been on dead people.

5)

Q) You assumed narcotics in reaching your opinions.

A) Yes.

Q) You didn't assume a Frito or a Chee-to or a banana. You assumed narcotics.

A) It was a narcotics raid. It wasn't a Frito raid counselor.

6)

Q) Mr. Jones, do you believe in alien forces?

A) You mean other than my wife?

7)

Q) Were you acquainted with the decedent?

A) Yes, sir.

Q)Before or after he died?

8)

Q) Did he ever kill you before?

A) Excuse me?????

9)

Q)What happened then?

A) He told me, he says 'I have to kill you because you can identify me.'

Q) Did he kill you?

A) um no.

10)

Q) How old is your son, the one living with you?

A)38 or 35, I can't remember which.

Q) How long has he lived with you?

A) 45 years.

Bonus ones

  1. Intoxicated Florida driver pleads guilty to manslaughter, then sues victim he killed
  2. Michigan woman files $5 million suit for the leftover gas still in her repossessed car
  3. 13-year-old Little Leaguer sued by spectator who got hit with baseball
  4. Maximum security inmate who went to jail with five teeth sues prison for dental problems
  5. California restaurateur sued for disabilities act violations in parking lot he doesn’t own
  6. $1.7 billion suit claims City of Santa Monica wireless parking meters causing health problems
  7. Bay Area parents sue school after their son was kicked out of honors class for cheating

Thank you for reading, I will have another next week, please comment, vote and enjoy.

FanPosts are written by community members. This is simply a way for community members to express opinions too long to be contained in a comment.

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