Weird Things Customers Say in Bookshops.

i promised Tundra that i will post some bookstore jokes. Enjoy it everybody. If you want to then please vote and rec'd to keep it on top. This was my first poll to post so sorry that the #1 comes after #12. Thanks.

These are some excerpts from a British book called "Weird Things Customers Say in Bookshops" by Jen Campbell:

1) CUSTOMER: It makes me sad that grown up books don’t have pictures in them. You’re brought up with them when you’re younger, and then suddenly they’re all taken away.

BOOKSELLER: . . . Yes. It’s a cruel world.

2) CUSTOMER: Do you have any crime books involving speeding fines?

3) CUSTOMER: Do you have a copy of Nineteen Eighty Six?

BOOKSELLER: Nineteen Eighty Six?

CUSTOMER: Yeah, Orwell.

BOOKSELLER: Oh – Nineteen Eighty Four.

CUSTOMER: No, I’m sure it’s Nineteen Eighty Six; I’ve always remembered it because it’s the year I was born.


4) CUSTOMER: Do you have any books in this shade of green, to match the wrapping paper I’ve bought?

5) CUSTOMER: Do you have that book – I forget what it’s called; it’s about people with large, hairy feet.

BOOKSELLER: Do you mean hobbits? The Lord of the Rings?

CUSTOMER: No.... erm – The Hairy Bikers.

6) CUSTOMER: I’m just going to nip to the supermarket to do the weekly shop. I’m going to leave my sons here, is that ok? They’re three and five. They’re no bother.

7) (Local author comes into bookshop, lifts his books from the bookshelf and starts rearranging them on the table in the middle of the room)

BOOKSELLER: What are you doing?

LOCAL AUTHOR: Well, they’re never going to sell when they’re sitting on a bookshelf, are they?

8) CUSTOMER: You know that film, Coraline?

BOOKSELLER: Yes, indeed.

CUSTOMER: My daughter loves it. Are they going to make it into a book?

9) CUSTOMER: Do you have a copy of Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason? I can’t see it on the shelf.

BOOKSELLER: I’m afraid we don’t, but I can order it for you, and it’ll be here in the next forty eight hours. We could even post it to you if you’d like?

CUSTOMER: I don’t trust the Royal Mail. Could you fax it instead?

10) CUSTOMER: Do you keep the pornography in the photography section? –

11) CUSTOMER: Is this book edible?

12) Customer: If my daughter wants to buy books from the teenage section do you need to see some form of ID? It was her thirteenth birthday this weekend. I can show you pictures of the cake. You can count the candles.

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