Here is another weekly edition of FROZEN HUMOR, about dumb criminals, please comment, vote in the poll and most importantly, enjoy.
1)A man suspected of robbing a jewelry store said he couldn't have done it because he was busy breaking into a school at the same time. Police then arrested him for breaking into the school.
2)A young teller was new to the job when she was approached by her first robber. Noticing that the man's grammar was not the greatest, the teller figured that the would be criminal was slightly slow. She told the robber that he had to have an account to rob a bank. Disappointed, the man left.
3)A man went into a drug store, pulled a gun, announced a robbery, and pulled a Hefty-bag face mask over his head, and realized that he'd forgotten to cut eyeholes in the mask.
4)One man thought a good way to rob a bank and not get caught was through the drive through. Pulling up to the window, he wrote the teller a note, demanding money. The man even went as far as to holding up a knife. Laughing hysterically, the woman called the police and the suspect was eventually apprehended.
5)A robber decided he wanted to be quick, so he jumped out of his car, ran in the store and demanded the money. After getting about two hundred dollars, he ran back out to his car. He realized that he had left his car running. He also realized that he had locked the doors.
6)Two men tried to pull the front off a cash machine by running a chain from the machine to the bumper of their pickup truck. Instead of pulling the front panel off the machine, though, they pulled the bumper off their truck. Scared, they left the scene and drove home. With the chain still attached to the machine. With their bumper still attached to the chain. With their vehicle's license plate still attached to the bumper.
7)A man successfully broke into a bank's basement through a street-level window, cutting himself up pretty badly in the process. He then realized that (1) he could not get to the money from where he was, (2) he could not climb back out the window through which he had entered, and (3) he was bleeding pretty badly. So he located a phone and dialed "911" for help ...
8)Donald Gartner of Port Richey, Florida, downed a six-pack of beer and a handful of Oxycontin Sunday night and proceeded to get arrested for causing a ruckus at his neighbor's house. He found himself released from jail a few hours later, but wasn't done raising hell. Shortly after being released, he was arrested again for trying to break into cars in the visitors' parking lot of the jail he was just released from.
9)A man walked into a bank with a gun and handed the teller a note that said “give me all your money” as the teller was filling the bag with money, the criminal realized that the bank was on lockdown. He fled with the bag of money to the getaway car, driven by a teenager when the police suddenly appeared and surrounded the car from all sides. How did the police know to be there? Well, the mastermind of the plot called the bank before hand and said “get ready, we’re coming!”
10)MIAMI BEACH, Fla. (Associated Press) -- Police in Miami Beach say a homeless man broke into a car, stole a credit card and then tried to use it to buy a beer - from the bartender the card belonged to.
The case was cracked when 53-year-old David Weber handed the card to the bartender who took his order Monday night. The Miami Herald reports the bartender noticed he had just been handed his own credit card.
The bartender called Miami Beach police. Weber was charged with credit card fraud and theft. He remained in the Miami-Dade County Jail early Wednesday.
Police say Weber told them he found the credit card on the ground.
12) bank robber in Virginia Beach got a nasty surprise when a dye pack designed to mark stolen money exploded int in Fruit of the looms. The robber apparently stuffed the loot down the front of his pants as he was running out the door. “He was seen hopping and jumping around w/ an explosion taking place inside his pants,” said a police spokesman.
13)Colorado Springs: A guy walked into a little corner store with a shot gun and demanded all the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but he refused and said "Because I don't believe you are over 21." The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because he didn't believe him. At this point the robber took his driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over, and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and he put the scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that he got off the license. They arrested the robber two hours later.
Again, please comment, vote and enjoy.