FanPost

Frozen Humor Dumm Criminals edition

Time for another Frozen Humor, this one is about dumb criminals. Enjoy, comment and vote in the poll.

1)The two suspects had been apprehended and now sat in a courtroom at the defendant's table. A witness was on the stand being asked questions by the prosecutor. "And ma'am you say you were robbed of your purse on the street?" Yes sir, the witness answered. "And the two men who robbed you, are they here in the courtroom today?" Before the witness could answer both defendants raised their hands. The judge and jury laughed openly.

2)A man walked into a Circle-K convenience store, put a $20 bill on the counter and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled-- leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer? Fifteen dollars.

3)The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 7:50am, flashed a gun and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.

4)A man went in to rob a bank. He demanded the clerk to give him all the money. They told him to go sit out in his car and they would bring him the bags of money. He agreed and went out to his car. In the meantime, the people in the bank called the police. When they got there the man was still sitting in his car waiting for the money and they arrested him.

5)A young criminal walked into a bank and quietly handed the teller a note demanding several thousand dollars. Disguised, the man could have easily gotten away. However, he had idiotically written the note on a piece of his own stationery; it included his full name and address.

6)Karen Lee Joachimi, 20, was arrested for robbery of a Howard Johnson's motel. She was armed with only an electric chainsaw, which was not plugged in.

7)Industrial thieves broke into the Bilgetek plant in Canasta, Wash., by crossing a metal catwalk and then blew it up, having forgotten it was their only means of escape.

8)Two criminals decided it would be genius to break into a bank from a neighboring building. They decided to drill through the wall so they could reach the banks vault. After hours of exhausting labor, they finally broke through. Upon entering the room, however, they discovered that had miscalculated the location of the vault and were instead standing in the middle of the restroom.

9)A reward of $1,000 was offered for information leading to the capture and conviction of a man robbing taxi drivers. The man turned himself in and demanded the reward as a result. He received a 20 year sentence for aggravated robbery instead.

10)A man walked in to a Kwik Shop, and asked for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police showed up and grabbed him.

11)A man trying to steal gas from a trailer home was found lying on the ground sick with vomit all around him. Apparently, instead of plugging his hose into the gas tank to drain the gas, he plugged it into the septic tank (it holds human waste for those who do not know) The owner declined to press charges stating that the idiot criminal had "Given me the best laugh I have had in years"


I almost was unable to get this one and again,comment, vote and enjoy. There will probably be one next week.

FanPosts are written by community members. This is simply a way for community members to express opinions too long to be contained in a comment.

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