1. Peyton Manning will be injured in week 5. A billboard saying start Caleb Haine will appear... Paid for by Kyle Orton.

2. Reggie Bush will land on the disabled list shortly after being dumped by Kim Kardashian... He will be diagnosed with a broken heart.

3. Jemarcus Russell will appear on Pros vs. joes. When asked what motivated him to appear he will simply say "Prize money."

4. After a 0-6 start the raiders will hold a seance to communicate will Al Davis. He will appear and immediately fire Dennis Allen.

5. Jeff Ireland will finally admit that no one wants to play in Miami when Matt Moore leads and exodus of 25 players into Cuba.

6. Rob Ryan will continue to make promises that fall through... Proving that Rex isn't the only Ryan with a foot in his mouth.

7. Mario Williams will have a monster year. Ryan Fitzpatrick will have a family of squirrels in his beard.

8. Tom Brady will throw touchdowns to 20 different players and a hot dog vendor. When asked about the hot dog vendor, Tom Brady will reply "I knew Terrell Owens had a little left!".

9. Detroit will be forced to forfeit their entire season when it is discovered that Jim Schwartz is actually columbian drug lord Pablo Escobar.

10. Adam rank will offer me $500 and a gift card to outback for the rights to my lists... I will accept... Adam Rank is a SUCKER!