Farley's Football Fodder: Of bongs, bumblebees and Blue Jays

Mike Farley takes a look around the NFL and pokes fun at the stories of this past week.

Greetings fellow NFL fans. As I mentioned the other day in my picks column, I feel like the bye week for our Giants allows me to enjoy the slate of games on Sunday without that nervous feeling in the pit of my stomach. Of course, the match ups this particular weekend are kind of crummy, but it's still football and that's better than any Sunday in April or May. So let's see what is happening in the NFL this week....

This concussion debate isn't going away, but we absolutely can't get to a point where we are policing every single hit. I say that as someone who does not have a large mass of speedy NFL defender charging after me on Sundays, but at some point you know hits are gonna happen. I don't want our game to go away, either, so I understand the position the league is in here to try and police and often litigate safety. I'm curious what you all think, so fire away in the comments...

It's pretty clear that teams such as the Patriots, Packers and Saints don't give much of a crap about defense, and simply leave the games in the hands of their explosive offenses. But man, that's Bill Freaking Belichick we're talking about--who led some of the most badass defenses we've ever seen with the Giants.

One tie in the NFL and all the stat crunchers come out and start spewing nonsense about the history of tie games. To which I say, wake me up when it's over. For the love of Donovan McNabb, please make these ties go away, Mr. Commish.

So now the Saints are complaining about trash talk? Is that worse than being paid to knock someone's block off? And hey, you guys got the last laugh anyway by winning.

I love that people are actually writing about the fact that weed is legalized in Washington and Colorado, and that there is a playful debate about whether NFL players in those states should be allowed to smoke up. So the equipment guys have to stock up on Chee-tos in the locker room. Is that really a problem? I digress, but I digress even further with the thought of Pete Carroll firing up a bong while watching film. Is that wrong?

Sometimes it's fun to watch third string QBs bob and weave in and out of the NFL. I'm sure the players' wives don't appreciate me saying that, but I said it.

This just in -- the Jets are really close to getting it all together. Sometimes the jokes just write themselves.

There were two articles about the ineptitude of Thursday Night Football this past week. One by Brian Billick on Fox Sports and one by Jim Steeg in the National Football Post. I have an idea--stop having crappy match ups on Thursday night, and maybe we'll pay more attention. But for now, I'd rather watch the Big Bang Theory too.

The best part about this former NFL punter suing Reliant Stadium is that he's referred to repeatedly as "Mr. Hartmann" in the article. I'm almost 50, but when someone calls me Mr. Farley, I still say, "Uh, no, that's my dad. I am Mike."

Thankfully Mike Ditka is okay following a "minor stroke." The visual of Ditka saying "Get me out of this Goddamn hospital gown!" is priceless and maybe all too accurate.

What do you guys take away from the photo in this article? For one, Andrew Luck has a freakishly large neck--the neck of a D-lineman. For two, Reggie Wayne is so happy to be exiled from Kerry Collins Island and Curtis Painterville, isn't he?

Oh no, not the bumblebees again!

Wow, the Blue Jays are stocking up. First, the blockbuster trade with the Marlins, and now Melky, assuming Melky is clean. Plus, they already have that freak of a home run hitter Jose Bautista. I take two things away from this past week in baseball. One, the Jays saw the Orioles reach the postseason and decided they are taking matters into their own hands after decades of third place finishes. Two, the Marlins purging salary is becoming a spectator sport of its own every few years. Seriously, guys--sell the freaking team and put it somewhere that people care about baseball.

Drew Magary hit a home run with this hilarious piece about the Williams Sonoma catalog. Here is a sample:

Apparently, the market for $40 Ozark fruitcake is ENORMOUS. White women from Bridgehampton ALL THE WAY to Westhampton rely on the monks to deliver their holiday fruitcake every year. Ina Garten's ADORABLE HUSBAND JEFFREY WHO MAKES A LOT OF MONEY loves the sight of a fine white-trash-monk fruitcake any time he comes home. TIE IT UP WITH THE TWINE!

And on that note....you guys have a great weekend!

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