Worst thing in the NFL: The Ugly Eight

We've narrowed the field down to 8 awful things, a short enough list for me to include some information on each.

Here are the results for the Sour Sixteen:

Joe Buck & Troy Aikman DEF. Tom Quinn, 11-9

Commercial-Kickoff-Commercial def. The Linc Experience, 17-3

Jan 5., 2003 referee DEF. Black-Eyed Peas Halftime show, 15-5

Michael Vick's dog-killing DEF. "Careless disregard for the football," 14-6

Cowgirls, Eggs, Jest fans DEF. Sharing Giants Stadium, 10-10 (coin flip tiebreaker)

Ladainian "Fake LT" DEF. '86 Giants not on greatest teams lists, 15-5 (smh)

Dallas' "America's Team" moniker DEF. Superbowl XXXV 17-3 (XXXV = 2nd-worst sports day of my life)

Jerry Jones DEF. GB fans Superbowl shafting, 17-3

So Dallas is picking up some momentum here! The Ugly Eight matchups are below:


1. Jerry Jones vs. Joe Buck & Troy Aikman

Matchup profile: Two Cowboys and Joe Buck in this matchup. Jerry Jones is an oil man who burst into the NFL in 1989, promptly dumping Hall of Famers Tom Landry and Tex Schramm, hiring his pal Jimmy Johnson -- whom he later fired after saying any coach could win the Superbowl with JJ as the GM. He hired Barry Switzer, who promptly proved him wrong. In an online poll from October 8, 2003, Jones was named the least favorite sports personality by Sports Illustrated, in three states (Virginia, Delaware and Texas!) On April 14, 2010, Jones was caught on video making disparaging comments about Bill Parcells. He's also the man behind the GB fans' Superbowl shafting. He's often on the sidelines, perhaps mulling taking over coaching duties as well. And of course ...



Before I get into the Buck/Aikman, a disclaimer. I work with LGBT students at an inner city high school. They are wonderful people; I support the basic right of gay people to marry; I despise homophobia.

But Buck & Aikman are just .... so .... gay. From the Troy Aikman's divorce with his wife is fueling rumors the ex-football pro and currents sportscaster is gay. ... For years, Aikman has been suspect of being a closeted gay and was outed as having sexuality issues in 2007 by another player in the league. And Joe Buck? Just look at the way he looks at Troy when Troy talks. He's practically salivating. There's nothing wrong with being gay. But the whole closeted sexual tension between these two is not really in the right place in the broadcast booth of the NFL. And that's not even to mention what a pain it is to have a Cowboy calling all my Giants games. I LOVE inter-conference games because at least there's a chance they'll be on CBS. Go back and listen to the Cowboys-Giants playoff game broadcast. I realize there's a perception of bias from all fans, but these guys are really at home fellating the Cowboys and dissing the Giants.



2. Commercial-Kickoff-Commercial vs. Dallas being called "America's Team"

Not much to say about C-K-C -- it's just another example of greed and money ruining a good thing. Do we really need 7 minutes of commercials packed around a 9-second play? We don't need this time to grab a beer. We've already got it -- we got it during the LAST commercial. You know -- the one 15 seconds ago.



I have this book at my house. Unfortunately, it's a bait-and-switch. A majority of the stories come to "Because they're the greatest. That's why I hate them." So, don't buy this book. The great irony about "America's Team" is that they are America's most HATED team. Bleacher Report has them as the most hated NFL team and #3 overall: "The Cowboys have a laundry list of reasons to be detested. ... They are certainly the league’s most hated."

3. Scott Green vs. LaDainian "fake LT" Tomlinson

But who is Scott Green? He's the back judge from the Jan. 5, 2003 playoff game in which he stole a playoff win from the Giants.

From Wikipedia: Green and the officials apparently forgot that New York's Rich Seubert, a guard who had lined up legally in a receiver's spot, was an eligible receiver. Seubert appeared to be interfered by was totally tackled by a San Francisco defender on a botched field goal attempt while going downfield to receive a pass. Since Green was the downfield official, this was his play to cover, but had to scramble from the goalpost to get into position to cover the play. Green, not knowing that Seubert was eligible, did not throw a flag to signify the penalty. Instead, the Giants were called for having an illegal man downfield on the play. Commissioner Paul Tagliabue described the situation as the most disappointing officiating blunder he'd seen in his years as NFL commissioner.

I remember this. I was screaming. To be fair, had the Giants won they would have gone on to face Juggernaut Tampa Bay, who crushed San Fran 31-6, Philly 27-10, and finally Oakland, 48-21. But wait, it gets better. Visit Green's Wikipedia page. He has made a career of screwing up game endings ever since.



Pass interference? You decide. It would have given the Giants a field goal attempt to win the game from the FOUR YARD LINE.

LDT: per Wikipedia: Tomlinson, often referred to by his initials, L. T.,

What a ripoff. You don't see Alex Rodriguez being called "Babe." There is only ONE LT. The greatest defensive player in the history of the NFL. But go ahead, get riled up: Google "L.T." and see who the top result is -- a flash-in-the-pan running back, probably struggles to crack the top 10 all time at his POSITION ALONE.


4. Michael Vick's dog-killing vs. "Careless disregard for the football"

Put aside your feelings about Mike Vick for a minute and look at this objectively. Forget that he's an Eagle. Imagine he's a St. Louis Ram, a KC Chief, a Detroit Lion.



Awww, lookit that cute little puppy!

Per my tagline: Details of the operations of an interstate dog fighting ring were revealed, with some portions involving drugs and gambling. Gruesome details involving abuse, torture and execution of under-performing dogs ... He admitted to being involved in the destruction of 6–8 dogs, by hanging or drowning...

You guys know how I feel about this one. I'm going to link to this photo rather than post it outright, because it's upsetting. But I urge you to click on the link and look at the face of this dog.

Going up against Vick's dog-killing -- Not Michael Vick himself, but his dog-killing -- is "Dallas, Philly, & Jets fans."

It's not wonder these three teams were our most hated back in the Hate game.



Jets fans think they're New York's team. But at least they're mostly real fans -- teams that don't win big don't have a lot of BANDWAGON jumpers. Which brings us to



Everything about TEH COWBOYZZZ is TEH BEZT.

Eagles fans? You know the rap. They cheered a career-ending spinal cord injury to Michael Irvin. They threw snowballs at Santa Claus. They have a JAIL in the Stadium.

Don't think of the good fellas who visit us at BBV. We didn't say "the rare, good fans."



Here is the list in short for ease of copying & pasting:

1. Jerry Jones vs. Joe Buck & Troy Aikman

2. Commercial-Kickoff-Commercial vs. Dallas being called "America's Team"

3. Scott Green vs. LaDainian "fake LT" Tomlinson

4. Michael Vick's dog-killing vs. Dallas, Philly, Jets fans

Let's get our Foul Four!

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