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Around SBN: Blake Griffin Slam Dunks: NBA Jam Style

Bigger Boobs?..or Football in 2011?


Well, most of you who have read my comments probably already know this is not all about Football..We all know that the players and owners are meeting again, albeit they couldn't even agree on where they'd even meet...Hello?..don't hold your breath...So, in light of that I tend to infuse a little humor while we all suffer through this nonsense..So here goes, true story:

My wife is going to be fifty in July...For two months she has had trouble sleeping because she was sweating..She'd roll around all restless, all night..So I told her she should go to the Doctor...Well she did..and they prescribed a medicine in the form of a patch that you apply to a butt cheek....

Well, it worked..after two weeks she was dry as a bone sleeping restfully..She said this is great..and I told her yeah I'm sleeping better also, since I no longer have dreams of scuba-diving with Jacque Cousteau while being chased by Great White Sharks all night...Life became normal again...

Well, I always sneak up on her and grab her boobies...you know dribble in for a jump-shot..Well three weeks after the butt patch...She hollered "OUCH!!"...

I asked her what was wrong and she said her boobs were sore..I said maybe it was the patch..the medication patch she was taking...

So about 45 minutes later she came back and said your right..The package states that side effects can cause soreness and make your breasts larger...

I thought about that for less than a second and told her to put five more patches on and I'll just look and won't touch...

Boobs vs football...they'll win every time..   

FanPosts are written by community members. This is simply a way for community members to express opinions too long to be contained in a comment.

Comment 53 comments  |  13 recs  | 

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Fanpost of the year award

I would like to nominate this one right here…..

by Plaxico Burress on Apr 15, 2011 4:02 PM EDT reply actions  

rec'd

Last night, a comedian died in New York. Somebody knows why. Somebody knows

by Rorschach44 on Apr 15, 2011 4:11 PM EDT reply actions  

unless.................

you have both at once? thats always fun..lol

"I like prime rib, and I'd love to win a Super Bowl" -Andy Reid

by nyg94 on Apr 15, 2011 4:20 PM EDT reply actions  

Bobbiblue has taken the lead.

Don't let my support confuse you, I am in fact a fan of the Giants.

by tito (eight and oh) on Apr 15, 2011 4:23 PM EDT reply actions  

awesome...

we need to lobby for these patches to be available “over the counter”…

Give me some info so I can buy stock in whatever company produces these adhesive miracles…

sigh...

by nywins42 on Apr 15, 2011 4:50 PM EDT reply actions  

What's that guy in Mortal Kombat say?

Oh right… EXCELLENT!

What the hell kinda chemicals or hormones do those patches contain to do all that?! Fuckin’ science man, incredible.

Red stripe, blue paint, them other teams scared but Big Blue ain't.

Our Giants who art in the New Giants Stadium,
hallowed be thy name.
No Three and Outs.
Thy defense Stout.
On earth or if we must in a dome.
Give us on Sunday our weekly Dubya,
and forgive us our turnovers,
as we take advantage of those who turnover against us,
and lead us not into a losing season,
but deliver us a fourth Super Bowl title.
To Eli we pray.
Amen.

^ Yeah, I believe we should all have this as part of our sig, which is why I stole it. :)

by EnWhySee on Apr 15, 2011 5:35 PM EDT reply actions  

Patches that make your boobs grow??

I love being an American. We just need to market them properly…

"Richard, who's your favorite little rascal? Is it Alfalfa?... Or is it SPANKY?... Sinner. :-)

by tommy d. on Apr 15, 2011 9:59 PM EDT reply actions  

Bobbi

You have not been around enough.

Please, more such contributions and comments. We need them.

That was funny.

All the Giants should play like Mark Bavaro.
Tom Quinn Must Go!
On second thought, let's not blame players or coaches, they are not responsible. The unsupportive fans are to blame.

by UnknownJintsFan on Apr 16, 2011 12:42 PM EDT reply actions  

knowing every other post that had some kind of correlation to this

it wouldnt be surprised if this is his last comment, but it is quite funny

"I like prime rib, and I'd love to win a Super Bowl" -Andy Reid

by nyg94 on Apr 16, 2011 1:13 PM EDT up reply actions  

Boobs.

rec’d

mmmmm.... delicious

by Cup Noodles on Apr 17, 2011 3:23 PM EDT reply actions  

Boys will be boys.

It’s not just a saying lol

Red stripe, blue paint, them other teams scared but Big Blue ain't.

Our Giants who art in the New Giants Stadium,
hallowed be thy name.
No Three and Outs.
Thy defense Stout.
On earth or if we must in a dome.
Give us on Sunday our weekly Dubya,
and forgive us our turnovers,
as we take advantage of those who turnover against us,
and lead us not into a losing season,
but deliver us a fourth Super Bowl title.
To Eli we pray.
Amen.

^ Yeah, I believe we should all have this as part of our sig, which is why I stole it. :)

by EnWhySee on Apr 17, 2011 6:35 PM EDT up reply actions  

Sorry about that Maya...

But I figured since my wife laughed her..well, er ‘butt’ off when I told her that…It would be safe to post…lol

"When I was a boy and I had no sense..I got my pecker caught in an electric fence..Well it curled my hair, tickled my balls and made me shit in my overalls..."
Bring Frank back..or you all can line up and "Kiss my Ass"..This is bullshit..

by Bobbiblue on Apr 18, 2011 11:55 AM EDT up reply actions  

I don't know why you guys are rec'ing this post

I like to squeeze ’em.

wilddre22: why does everyone bring up Vick like its a given that that’s what EVERY player will do and respond from a prison sentence.

andiamo708: I have no clue... like going to prison is like going to LSU or something….

by GhostDini on Apr 17, 2011 11:16 PM EDT reply actions  

hahaha

"Sack-Forced Fumble-TD against any QB in the history of the NFL.... honestly, It would probably be Eli because I see him in pratice and we can't touch him (laughs)" - Justin Tuck

by The Always Well Dressed... on Apr 18, 2011 9:52 AM EDT up reply actions  

hahaha

"Sack-Forced Fumble-TD against any QB in the history of the NFL.... honestly, It would probably be Eli because I see him in pratice and we can't touch him (laughs)" - Justin Tuck

by The Always Well Dressed... on Apr 19, 2011 1:26 PM EDT up reply actions  

Haha, I’ll be here all week. I was actually laughing as I was writing all that. I think my favorite is Buffalo Booblings.

http://www.bleedinggreennation.com/

by JimmyK on Apr 19, 2011 1:39 PM EDT up reply actions  

What?

Bleeding Green Boobs didn’t work for you? Like something out of The Mask, LOL!

Prove we are wrong, Tom "Medicine Man" Quinn, NOT!

by Great Gatsby on Apr 19, 2011 2:16 PM EDT up reply actions  

Gang Green Boobs lol

sounds nasty!

In Reese We Trust

by jmark82 on Apr 20, 2011 9:39 AM EDT up reply actions  

Behind the Boob Curtain

thats a great one

"Sack-Forced Fumble-TD against any QB in the history of the NFL.... honestly, It would probably be Eli because I see him in pratice and we can't touch him (laughs)" - Justin Tuck

by The Always Well Dressed... on Apr 19, 2011 6:49 PM EDT up reply actions  

I kinda like Cat Scratch Booby.

But were talking boobs, so, all of ’em are boobalicious

The draft and who we might get has been posted to death and then back to life. I've lost interest in the draft until the day comes....

by tommy d. on Apr 21, 2011 3:19 PM EDT up reply actions  

Agreed

probably your best work Jimmy hahaha

Self-praise is for losers. Be a winner. Stand for something. Always have class, and be humble.
-John Madden

by Willgfass on Apr 19, 2011 6:08 PM EDT up reply actions  

Jimmy,

how did you make your background to go green?

Being a New York Football Giants fan or a player is not a label but it is a calling!

by BB1156 on Apr 19, 2011 8:55 PM EDT up reply actions  

When posts get rec'd they go green

Die hard Giants fan since wide Right! I was 5...

by wangstu13 on Apr 20, 2011 12:37 AM EDT up reply actions  

yes

especially considering all the pics that come up during threads, im actually surprised one related to the subject hasnt come up yet

"I like prime rib, and I'd love to win a Super Bowl" -Andy Reid

by nyg94 on Apr 20, 2011 7:02 AM EDT up reply actions  

what are you talking about?

Details of the operations of an interstate dog fighting ring were revealed, with some portions involving drugs and gambling. Gruesome details involving abuse, torture and execution of under-performing dogs ... He admitted to being involved in the destruction of 6–8 dogs, by hanging or drowning...

by Simms-McConkey on Apr 20, 2011 7:20 AM EDT up reply actions  

Those look fun

for the entire family, ah John Candy, RIP!

Prove we are wrong, Tom "Medicine Man" Quinn, NOT!

by Great Gatsby on Apr 20, 2011 8:27 AM EDT up reply actions  

hmmm........

looks like if whoever was there had the laws of physics working against them, but that button was bound to bust one day…patience my friends

"I like prime rib, and I'd love to win a Super Bowl" -Andy Reid

by nyg94 on Apr 20, 2011 10:20 PM EDT up reply actions  

If that final button has any last words.....

Last night, a comedian died in New York. Somebody knows why. Somebody knows

by Rorschach44 on Apr 21, 2011 9:59 AM EDT up reply actions  

Als, my wifes aren't quite there yet...

If they arrive and look like these…you’ll never hear from me again…

"When I was a boy and I had no sense..I got my pecker caught in an electric fence..Well it curled my hair, tickled my balls and made me shit in my overalls..."
Bring Frank back..or you all can line up and "Kiss my Ass"..This is bullshit..

by Bobbiblue on Apr 24, 2011 1:15 PM EDT up reply actions  

*Alas

"When I was a boy and I had no sense..I got my pecker caught in an electric fence..Well it curled my hair, tickled my balls and made me shit in my overalls..."
Bring Frank back..or you all can line up and "Kiss my Ass"..This is bullshit..

by Bobbiblue on Apr 24, 2011 1:15 PM EDT up reply actions  

you'll never hear from me again! BIG LOL!!!

The draft and who we might get has been posted to death and then back to life. I've lost interest in the draft until the day comes....

by tommy d. on Apr 24, 2011 1:22 PM EDT up reply actions  

YES! Thats perfect!

The draft and who we might get has been posted to death and then back to life. I've lost interest in the draft until the day comes....

by tommy d. on Apr 21, 2011 3:19 PM EDT up reply actions  

bi-winning.

I don't always hope for draft picks, but when I do, I prefer Owen Marecic.

by tito (eight and oh) on Apr 20, 2011 7:37 AM EDT up reply actions  

Hahaha!!...Jimmy your a riot!!

"When I was a boy and I had no sense..I got my pecker caught in an electric fence..Well it curled my hair, tickled my balls and made me shit in my overalls..."
Bring Frank back..or you all can line up and "Kiss my Ass"..This is bullshit..

by Bobbiblue on Apr 20, 2011 9:26 PM EDT up reply actions  

friggin' brilliant

Final Dream Draft

1) Akeem Ayers, OLB
2) Marvin Austin, DT
3) Jake Kirkpatrick, OC
4) Chimdi Chekwa, CB
6) Henry Hynoski, FB
6) Jarriel King, OT
6) Josh Bynes, ILB
7) Ricardo Lockette, KR/PR

by BigBlueIntervention on Apr 20, 2011 10:15 PM EDT up reply actions  

HA!!

Last night, a comedian died in New York. Somebody knows why. Somebody knows

by Rorschach44 on Apr 21, 2011 10:00 AM EDT up reply actions  

Hilarious post, boobiblue

Can’t believe no one said that yet…

"Oh sir, the Giants of New York took on the Packers of Green Bay. And in the end, the Giants triumphed by kicking an oblong ball made of pigskin through a big "H". It was a most ripping victory."

by jcalafiore on Apr 19, 2011 3:08 PM EDT reply actions  

chnge your nic to Boobiblue lol

lol Boobibiblue

Being a New York Football Giants fan or a player is not a label but it is a calling!

by BB1156 on Apr 19, 2011 8:23 PM EDT reply actions  

I was going to end things w/ this chick i'm seeing

but after reading this I was reminded me of whats really important in life….

honestly…happiness pales in comparison to a great rack.

 Rec’d…and thanks for reminding me of where my priorities are.

FIX IT

by andiamo708 on Apr 20, 2011 10:24 AM EDT reply actions   1 recs

Nice!

I don't always hope for draft picks, but when I do, I prefer Owen Marecic.

by tito (eight and oh) on Apr 20, 2011 1:27 PM EDT up reply actions  

I guess we now know she's got a nice pair :-)

The draft and who we might get has been posted to death and then back to life. I've lost interest in the draft until the day comes....

by tommy d. on Apr 22, 2011 8:35 AM EDT up reply actions  

LMAO

Just saw this now. Jeez, I gotta check out the Fanposts more often!
You guys crack me up.

Go Giants!

by ronjohnson on Apr 22, 2011 4:31 PM EDT reply actions  

stay away from strip clubs

Details of the operations of an interstate dog fighting ring were revealed, with some portions involving drugs and gambling. Gruesome details involving abuse, torture and execution of under-performing dogs ... He admitted to being involved in the destruction of 6–8 dogs, by hanging or drowning...

by Simms-McConkey on Apr 24, 2011 12:42 PM EDT up reply actions  

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