So I went to the game against the Redskins this past Sunday. It was the 5th regular season game I attended this year and the team posted a 1-4 record with the sole win coming against the Dolphins. Needless to say I haven’t witnessed a good game in person all year. Lucky for all of you, I am not attending any more games this year. I turned down tickets to the Dallas game, and if for some miraculous reason they win the Division and earn a 1st round home game I will be watching it from the warm confines of my family room.
But I digress…
The reason I wanted to make this fanpost was to basically bitch and moan about my experiences at the Stadium.
"The tradition of Festivus begins with the Airing of Grievances. I got a lot of problems with you people! And now, you're gonna hear about it."
I had great seats this year that I split with my Dad’s cousin… Lower Level, Corner of the endzone about 30 rows back. No complaints there. My issue is specifically with the idiots that sat around me.
First let’s start with the actual Giant that sat in front of me. No pun intended. This guy had to be 7’ tall and over 300lbs…right. in. front. of. me. The guy was so big that despite being one step down I still couldn’t see over him. Whatever, I guess I can’t hold that against him, but it seriously was an inconvenience.
Now let’s move onto the people in my row. I had seats at the end of the aisle. Normally you might say, that’s great easy access to everything, yada, yada… but no. Instead my thighs got a major work out from constantly getting up and down to let people out. It wasn’t just the women (although they were the biggest culprit) constantly going back and forth to the restroom, concession stands, and stores. Why on earth are you leaving your cot damn seat to go buy a bunch of crap from the Giants store during the middle of the freaking game?!?! Spill your beer on me, step on my feet, up-down, up-down…it never ended.
Lastly, let’s discuss the douche canoe that sat right behind me. I almost got into it with him this last game after I told him to stop spewing the most ignorant crap from his pie hole. He was there nearly every game spatting off the most asinine comments, but this past Sunday was the worst.
First, he obviously doesn’t get out much because nearly every female that walked up the aisle (no matter how trollish she looked) got berated with his cat calls and whistling. This one woman, who could have passed as Ernest Borgnine with blonde hair and a Santa hat, got to hear him shout "Ho ho ho pretty lady, wanna come sit on my lap." I felt sorry for her.
Now let’s discuss his apparent fandom. This guy must hate everyone on the team. I mean it, he had it out for nearly every single one of them, every game, no matter the situation. In the 1st quarter Jacobs managed to rip off about an 8 or 9 yd run. Not good enough for this guy. He immediately started booing and shouted "get off the field with your tap dancing BS Jacobs!" I immediately pointed out to him what a quality run that just was, but he didn’t want to hear it. He did have Cruz on his fantasy team. I could tell because every single pass Manning throw should have been thrown to Cruz because "he never drops those passes". "Why wasn't that thrown to Cruz?" "Cruz needs a TD here!" Just would not stop. The best was when a running play got stuffed (which was rare on Sunday) he started yelling, "Hedgecock you suck!" Hedgecock? Really? There were so many more instances of his stupidity, but that’s all I got for now.
In the spirit of the Comedy Threads, I’ll open the forum for you to share your experiences with the people you watch the game with, either at home, the bar, or the stadium.