Osi Umenyiora and Jerry Reese chat: How it might have sounded

Mike Garafolo reported Friday that unhappy defensive end Osi Umenyiora recently had a sit-down with New York Giants General Manager Jerry Reese.

From comments made by Umenyiora's agent about the meeting, MG surmised that "Umenyiora isn’t yet satisfied with what he’s heard from the team."

You know, I wish I could have been the proverbial 'fly on the wall' for that conversation. But, at 6-foot-21/2, 210 pounds stealth is not exactly a strong suit. So, I will have to settle for imagining how that conversation went.

After JR and Osi exchange pleasantries, Osi begins the conversation:

Umenyiora: You know I said the other day I would retire if I didn't start in 2010. Well ... I ain't retiring because I do like getting paid. But, I ain't coming off the bench, either.

Reese: Glad to hear it, Osi. We really, really want you to come to camp and earn that starting job.

Umenyiora: EARN IT!! Earn it! What are you talking about, Jerry? I'm OSI UMENYIORA! I am a two-time Pro Bowler. I am one of the best defensive ends in the game! Earn it? I already have earned it!

Reese: Calm down, Osi. We know who you are, and we know what you have done in your career. Fact is, though, it isn't 2005 any more. We are heading into 2010, and you really did not play up to your own standards last season.

Umenyiora: Whatcha talkin' about, Jerry? I led this team in sacks with seven! I forced four fumbles!

Reese: That's just it, Osi. Seven sacks, that's all. The first time in your career you have not reached double digits when you have played a full season.

Umenyiora: Dammit, Jerry, I am still a force! I am OSI UMENYIORA! One of the best defensive ends in the game. Look at the film, man! It isn't gonna lie to you. You'll see. I am still OSI UMENYIORA!

Reese: I have looked at the film, Osi. I don't see what you see. I see a guy who cheats upfield to try and get to the quarterback and abandons his run responsibility. And who isn't physical enough any more when he does try to play the run.

Umenyiora: WHAT? And I thought you knew talent, Jerry. Besides, run, schmun! What are you bugging me about that for? My job is to collect sacks. Those other 10 guys can play the run. I get paid to hit the quarterback.

Reese: Well, Osi, not every play is a pass. You can't just take the play off when the offense decides to run the ball.

Umenyiora: I can't believe you are talking to ME like this, Jerry. Can't friggin' believe it. I have to leave now before I get mad and go all Shockey on you. You know, Spags won't talk to me like this.

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