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A little fun with the 'Jerrytron'

Can't resist a little Saturday fun with the monstrously arrogant -- and still too low -- video board at the new Cowboys Stadium.

I don't have a whole lot of snarky things to say about the 'Jerrytron,' -- and Jerry Jones' seeming ability to make tough guy Roger Goodell cower like a helpless little brother taking a whuppin'. That, however, doesn't mean others are holding their fire. For your enjoyment, here are some examples.

  • The San Francisco 49ers play in Dallas tonight, giving punter Andy Lee a shot at the Jerrytron. With that in mind, Niners Nation has created the 'Andy Lee Drinking Game.' The rules are simple. If anything on the list happens, you drink. Oh, and 'Simms-McConkey,' I know you will be ready to play along. Me? Sorry, my drinking game days ended a loooooong time ago.
  • 'Shutdown Corner' is not taking this 'decision,' -- or lack of a decision -- by the NFL very well. 

Well, it happened. The NFL officially has officially embraced do-overs as league policy. In the new Cowboys Stadium, when a ball hits the monstrous video board, we will have a do-over, just like you had when you were a kid playing in your backyard and a wayward ball went into the street, hit a telephone wire, or got caught in a tree. The NFL has adopted a rule widely used by nine-year-olds across the world. Awesome.

In other rule changes announced today, the NFL announced that all games end immediately the second Jimmy's mom yells, "Supper's ready!", it's every man for themselves if someone accidentally breaks a window, and no one -- and I mean no one -- better tell their mom if Tony says another bad word. In addition, when games have concluded, any low-down mongrel who drinks the purple stuff instead of the Sunny D will be suspended for eight games.

This is absolutely absurd. The video board can be raised. Maybe it costs a lot to do it, but for Pete's sake, is the NFL hurting for money? Is Jerry Jones hurting for money? There's absolutely no reason why it can't be raised, and yet, we're going to head into the NFL season with a possible impediment to fair, competitive play. It doesn't make one damn bit of sense.

The gunners on the punt team can get exhausted when having to do their extremely taxing job of consecutive plays. A game-changing punt return could be wiped out if replay shows (and those extra replay breaks are going to be oodles and oodles of fun) that the ball nicked the board. A punt that pins someone deep in their own territory could be nullified for the same reason. A season-ending injury could be suffered on a play that will not count.

All would cause major controversy. All would be unfair. And all could be avoided, quite simply.

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I'm actually kinda pissed about the "Ground Rules"

With Feagles’ directional kicking ability, the giants would have had a distinct advantage.
Also, as Adam Schefter (who’s great) pointed out on NFL Live yesterday, what’s going to prevent a strong armed QB who isn’t liking what he’s seeing from the defense from launching a ball into the video board just so he can get another play.

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by Hoyadestroya85 on Aug 29, 2009 11:36 AM EDT reply actions   0 recs

i thought that too

i dont know exactly how high the board is, but what would prevent a QB from hitting the thing on purpose just to get another play?

by Travis G on Aug 29, 2009 11:39 AM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

I hear you

The board is 90 feet high, and you know darn well there are QBs who can reach it if they try. The NFL screwed the pooch on this with by allowing such a monstrosity in the first place, and with their own rules stating that 85 feet is supposedly high enough.

by Ed Valentine on Aug 29, 2009 11:43 AM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

Just another reason to hate them, and enjoy watching them sputter to 7-9 and a possible last place finish.

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by Jim Schmiedeberg on Aug 29, 2009 11:39 AM EDT reply actions   0 recs

I hope somebody..

Hits the thing so hard it puts a big hole in it!..This is a football stadium, not a U2 concert hall, they are raising it for the band, but not for fair football??..Whose the more powerful influence here?..U2?..Gime a break Goodall..

by Bobbiblue on Aug 29, 2009 11:46 AM EDT reply actions   0 recs

The only fans that won't be..

Hampered or distracted by that “thing” are those poor folks that purchased the seats that have a perfect view of the cement walls in front of them..They can’t the TV or the field of play!..I guess a blind guy might buy one of those..

by Bobbiblue on Aug 29, 2009 11:56 AM EDT reply actions   0 recs

You guys are just whining because Goodell is Jerrys bitch. LOL!!

Im mean, nasty, and tired. I eat concertina wire and piss napalm, and I can put a round through a flea's ass at 200 meters. So you go and hump someone else's leg mutt face, before i push yours in. Gunnery SGT Tom Highway

by squidlo97 on Aug 29, 2009 2:06 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

LOL!!..Yeah

Frogman Jones probably pays Goodall to suspend opposing players too..

by Bobbiblue on Aug 29, 2009 3:20 PM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

it's a clear disadvantage for the coverage team....

you sprint all the way down the field, get knocked to the ground, get up, tackle a guy…and than you have to turn around and it do it all over again?!?!

by andiamo708 on Aug 29, 2009 2:11 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

Exactly..The new do-over rule..

And I don’t care about the “no effect on directional kickers”.. BS..Guys like Feagle depend on something called “Hangtime”..Now they are forced to shoot bullets low..That “Thing” plain stinks..and it yet another Jone’s tactic to get an unfair advantage..If he wants to watch himself run the team from the owner’s box bring a mirror Frogboy!

by Bobbiblue on Aug 29, 2009 3:30 PM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

Just call it karma for all of those years you guys opened the gates and let the wind blow when we had the ball.

Im mean, nasty, and tired. I eat concertina wire and piss napalm, and I can put a round through a flea's ass at 200 meters. So you go and hump someone else's leg mutt face, before i push yours in. Gunnery SGT Tom Highway

by squidlo97 on Aug 29, 2009 3:35 PM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

Hey, thats not a dome. The roof retracts.

Doesnt matter, you shouldnt have opened the gates.
Where did you get that guy to open the gates? Same prison the Patriots got the guy to snow blow a patch for the kicker?

Im mean, nasty, and tired. I eat concertina wire and piss napalm, and I can put a round through a flea's ass at 200 meters. So you go and hump someone else's leg mutt face, before i push yours in. Gunnery SGT Tom Highway

by squidlo97 on Aug 29, 2009 6:08 PM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

ha

that is true

by queler on Aug 30, 2009 5:22 PM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

I think the bigger advantage for us is all of your guys will be looking

 to see if the ball is going to hit the screen and your pretty little chins will be exposed for the knockout. BOOM!!

Im mean, nasty, and tired. I eat concertina wire and piss napalm, and I can put a round through a flea's ass at 200 meters. So you go and hump someone else's leg mutt face, before i push yours in. Gunnery SGT Tom Highway

by squidlo97 on Aug 29, 2009 3:38 PM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

You cant make the club if you cant get out of the tub.

Isnt half of your Dline injured?

Im mean, nasty, and tired. I eat concertina wire and piss napalm, and I can put a round through a flea's ass at 200 meters. So you go and hump someone else's leg mutt face, before i push yours in. Gunnery SGT Tom Highway

by squidlo97 on Aug 29, 2009 6:09 PM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

Only Canty..the guy we got from you guys..

..and I hope Jones didn’t hire the same contractor to hang that thing up, that did the roof on the practice facility.

by Bobbiblue on Aug 30, 2009 5:26 AM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

LOL!!!

He did a stint in prison too! LOL!!
Canty is a tease.

Im mean, nasty, and tired. I eat concertina wire and piss napalm, and I can put a round through a flea's ass at 200 meters. So you go and hump someone else's leg mutt face, before i push yours in. Gunnery SGT Tom Highway

by squidlo97 on Aug 30, 2009 12:01 PM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

hey now

just because I was wearing a shirt (gift) that says “My idea of a balanced diet is a beer in each hand” and knocking off a 30-pack with a friend while watching the Giants last night should NOT be taken as meaning you’re correct

You play to win the game!

by Simms-McConkey on Aug 30, 2009 10:33 AM EDT reply actions   0 recs

24 punts and counting.

And the only punt to hit the screen? The worst one… What would have been a 30 something yarder (Net)…

Interesting… Heintrich (2 Pro Bowls), Andy Lee (1) and Matt McBriar (1) haven’t had the same problem while punting some pretty good ones…

Mmmmh, maybe this doesn’t carry as much weight as was believed… Maybe… Maybe you guys shouldn’t be making fun of something that you just don’t understand…

Screwed the pooch…

Viva México! Go Cowboys!

by Chandus on Aug 30, 2009 1:53 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

what is there to not understand?

One punt that hits it is enough. Its a nice idea to have a screen like that, but if it alters the game in any way, then it needs to be changed.

GODZZIIIIIRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!

by FreeBradshaw on Aug 30, 2009 2:25 PM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

But, does it?

As I said, 3 Pro Bowl punters have punted in that stadium, in the same conditions, and the screen hasn’t altered their game…

This is much ado about nothing.

Let’s say that someone else tries to hit the screen, which wasn’t easy for the punter that hit it (the punt came very close to it’s highest point), and fails… Do you think that his team is going to be happy with such a 30-40 yards punt (net)?

And we aren’t talking about directional punting, which a lot of punters use, we’re talking just about straight ahead punting…

QBs trying to hit the screen? Ball up for grabs? A play that the referees may interpret as a punt and the loss of posession? A bunch of ado…

Viva México! Go Cowboys!

by Chandus on Aug 31, 2009 9:52 AM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

My fanatical cowboys fan friend was saying

just yesterday… if a QB has the arm to hit a scoreboard 30 yards up… and there are no receivers open or the pocket is collapsing… he can get a “do-over.”

You play to win the game!

by Simms-McConkey on Aug 31, 2009 9:58 AM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

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