A little fun with the 'Jerrytron'

Can't resist a little Saturday fun with the monstrously arrogant -- and still too low -- video board at the new Cowboys Stadium.

I don't have a whole lot of snarky things to say about the 'Jerrytron,' -- and Jerry Jones' seeming ability to make tough guy Roger Goodell cower like a helpless little brother taking a whuppin'. That, however, doesn't mean others are holding their fire. For your enjoyment, here are some examples.

• The San Francisco 49ers play in Dallas tonight, giving punter Andy Lee a shot at the Jerrytron. With that in mind, Niners Nation has created the 'Andy Lee Drinking Game.' The rules are simple. If anything on the list happens, you drink. Oh, and 'Simms-McConkey,' I know you will be ready to play along. Me? Sorry, my drinking game days ended a loooooong time ago.
  
• 'Shutdown Corner' is not taking this 'decision,' -- or lack of a decision -- by the NFL very well. 

Well, it happened. The NFL officially has officially embraced do-overs as league policy. In the new Cowboys Stadium, when a ball hits the monstrous video board, we will have a do-over, just like you had when you were a kid playing in your backyard and a wayward ball went into the street, hit a telephone wire, or got caught in a tree. The NFL has adopted a rule widely used by nine-year-olds across the world. Awesome.

In other rule changes announced today, the NFL announced that all games end immediately the second Jimmy's mom yells, "Supper's ready!", it's every man for themselves if someone accidentally breaks a window, and no one -- and I mean no one -- better tell their mom if Tony says another bad word. In addition, when games have concluded, any low-down mongrel who drinks the purple stuff instead of the Sunny D will be suspended for eight games.

This is absolutely absurd. The video board can be raised. Maybe it costs a lot to do it, but for Pete's sake, is the NFL hurting for money? Is Jerry Jones hurting for money? There's absolutely no reason why it can't be raised, and yet, we're going to head into the NFL season with a possible impediment to fair, competitive play. It doesn't make one damn bit of sense.

The gunners on the punt team can get exhausted when having to do their extremely taxing job of consecutive plays. A game-changing punt return could be wiped out if replay shows (and those extra replay breaks are going to be oodles and oodles of fun) that the ball nicked the board. A punt that pins someone deep in their own territory could be nullified for the same reason. A season-ending injury could be suffered on a play that will not count.

All would cause major controversy. All would be unfair. And all could be avoided, quite simply.

• The folks at the satirical site, 'Sports Pickle,' say the real problem isn't the scoreboard -- it is the location of the owner's suite.