Let's talk wide receivers, hot girls
SBaker' brought up the wide receivers and hot girls comparison in a comment thread the other day. Let's take advantage of that opening to compare the various wide receivers who could become Giants to the beautiful women they might remind you of.

Refaeli, the SI swimsuit cover girl, is the sexiest girl in the bar. But you're afraid to go talk to her because you know she's probably out of your league, anyway. And, you know you don't have what it takes to talk your way into the conversation. Same with the Giants and Crabtree.

Mostly because I had to find a place to get Lima in here, since she is one of my favorites. But, she is married to basketball player Marko Jaric, and thus unavailable. Maclin will also likely be off the market before the Giants get a shot at him.
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Lots of flash and more sizzle than you might be able to handle. But, are you really sure what you are getting yourself into? I know that's the case with Reby, our NY Giants Girl, and I suspect it's the same with DHB.
More Reby. And even more Reby.

Has all the physical attributes you want, looks great and has had some shining moments. But, for the most part more potential than production.

Hakeem Nicks is ... Jessica Alba
Looks really nice, but at first you think you might be able to do better. Then you stop and think about it, and realize you might just be nuts to pass up the chance. You know you wouldn't complain.

Hard-hitting, powerful and unafraid. Pretty scary once they both get rolling. Boldin likes to catch the ball, then steamroll opponents. Williams likes to steamroll opponents with that big serve and powerful forehand.

Both Harvin, the wide receiver/running back and Gulbis, the LPGA star, pack a lot of excitement into small packages. Might not be your first pick, but both are sexy choices and you have to admit you wouldn't pass up the opportunity.

We don't know a heck of a lot about Britt, other than he is from Rutgers. Nor do we know much about the tennis-playing Ivanovic. But, we sure would like to know a heckuva lot more.

Not currently available, and you know darn well getting involved is a bad idea, anyway. But, wouldn't you love to have a fling? You know you would have fun ... for a little while.

They are both long, tall physical freaks. Barden the 6-foot-6 monster wide receiver, Rawson the leggy 5-10 golfer and model. You would love to get close, just to get a really good look. But, truthfully, you really have no idea if either one of them can thrive at an elite level in their respective sports.
We can't finish this without a Plaxico Burress comparison, since it is all the Burress issues that got us into thism anyway, So, without further adieu ...

They both look good from far away, but when you get closer you realize neither of them is all that great to be around, both have had driving issues and seemingly aren't crazy about authority, and you are never really sure what either one will do next. And their behavior tells you they each have commitment issues.
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Anna Rawson
Just to add to Anna Rawson. My good friend worked for Sunice (Golf clothing). His marketing strategy was to find the hottest “Non-winners” and get them cheap. If they ever win, you’re set. He met Anna, and said she was the hottest thing he’d ever met. Physically and had a great personality. So.. maybe Barden is not a bad option for the Giants? hahaah If that logic does not work, I give up.
by ross_stephen on Apr 7, 2009 7:30 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
That logic
is fine with me, and I’m with all the Barden fans out there.
by Ed Valentine on Apr 7, 2009 7:38 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
Nice post, but
better than Jessica Alba? Impossible!!
by potroast on Apr 7, 2009 7:47 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
LOL!!
Well, everyone has their opinions. Lots of options out there.
by Ed Valentine on Apr 7, 2009 7:50 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
Also with Plax and Lindsay
you don’t really know which team either is playing for…..and I wouldn’t touch either of them with a ten foot pole, Plax figuratively, Lindsay literally.
Ed are you also saying Darrius Heyward-Bey never met a camera he didn’t like?
Danica Patrick is ok, doesn’t do a whole lot for me, could be the NASCAR thing.
Jessica Alba is one of God’s finest creations. After he was done putting her together I’ll bet even he said “Me DAMN she is hot!”
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by Jim Schmiedeberg on Apr 7, 2009 9:27 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
DHB & Reby
I don’t know about the camera thing. I think both would bring you tremendous thrills, but once the excitement wore off I’m not sure they are long-term relationship material.
by Ed Valentine on Apr 7, 2009 9:30 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
ah yes, the age-old man mantra....
some girls are for effing, some are for marrying
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by Jim Schmiedeberg on Apr 7, 2009 10:48 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
I think
Jessica Alba is for marrying.
by Ed Valentine on Apr 7, 2009 11:40 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
dante stallworth would be another good fit for lindsay lohan
all thier careers seem to be headed in similar trajectories. although only one of them killed a guy.
Also I want Anquan bad now, so can’t we do better than Serena Williams? She not hot, she terrifying. How about Brooklyn Decker. Like Boldin, she is awesome. Also, Q’s got big guns, Brooklyn’s got big ’uns. perfect match!
HELLO HELLO MR WILPON. WE WANT THE MANSION NOT THE CONDO.
by kendynamo on Apr 7, 2009 10:10 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Thanks for not including Rosie O' Donnell in your analogies.
That would have been bad.
by John W on Apr 7, 2009 10:11 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
LOL!!
Rosie is Jeremy Shockey. Broken down, old, ugly and bitter!
by Ed Valentine on Apr 7, 2009 10:20 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
I feel like someone just handed me a pamphlet
that says, “So you just realized that you’re deep in the woods of your offseason….”
Save the neck for me, Clark.
by Mr. Met on Apr 7, 2009 10:48 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
LOL!!
Very true. But, hey, you have to entertain the masses any way you can.
by Ed Valentine on Apr 7, 2009 11:42 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
So I guess Torry Holt
would be Halle Berry?
Are they old? Torry may be pushing it, but his team sucked last year and his production dwarfed the Giants WR. Halle may be 40+ but try telling her that, and by the looks of her I could care less how old she is. They both had some great production in the past, tho the end may be near for both (at least Torry being best in the game and Halle being Top 5).
So while Halle’s not available, Torry is a FA and could be a wise addition for our youngins.
by FreeBradshaw on Apr 7, 2009 10:56 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Holt
I was thinking would be Anna Kournikova … still sexy and desirable, provided you are only thinking short term. You know you’ll be looking for something ‘fresher’ pretty soon.
by Ed Valentine on Apr 7, 2009 11:42 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
Anna is nice no doubt, but she really never did anything aside from look good.
Holt was far from a fake. Halle’s gotta fit better cuz she had a nice career.
by FreeBradshaw on Apr 7, 2009 1:44 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
mmmmmm....Halle Berry
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by Jim Schmiedeberg on Apr 7, 2009 3:21 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
LOL!!
Yes, but we are not going there.
by Ed Valentine on Apr 7, 2009 5:48 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
Agree with Halle Berry = Tory Holt
I’d take either. One for 6 days a week, the other for Sunday (Game day). Easy to figure out who….
by ross_stephen on Apr 8, 2009 12:26 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Randy Moss=Angelina Jolie
Completely overrated and while they have some great moments, you’d never wanna stick with them 4 long
by ChuckyofNorris on Apr 8, 2009 4:39 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
And Randy Moss's
ineptitude in Oakland may have had something to do with him snacking on regular folk’s blood with Al Davis. Jolie liks to sip on the vampire juice too.
by FreeBradshaw on Apr 8, 2009 9:25 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
Great job! I think you really nailed Braylon Edwards!
by JasonB on Apr 9, 2009 12:55 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Wow, we sure are throwing Plax under the bus, aren't we?
What are we, Boston fans?
by JoshNY on Apr 13, 2009 2:43 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

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