NFL Picks Week 17: 'Greek' tries to finish above .500

Well, I definitely learned something last week. With nothing on the line, picking against the spread is hard work. With all but two spots locked up for the playoffs, and only the slightest ability for teams to improve their seeds for next week, there are less than 10 teams that are actually doing more than playing out the string. So I too will play out the string, rest my starters, and come back strong for the playoffs.

New England at NY Giants (+14) - Who knows what to expect in this game, with nothing on the line for either team, save a 16-0 season. New England seems to have stopped blowing teams out though over the past month, and at least now everyone will be able to see the game. Way to stick to your guns NFL Network.

Buffalo (+7.5) at Philadelphia - Both teams are playing for respectability, and a loss really does nothing to help draft positions here, so no tanking. It's all going to be about individual stats, and McNabb auditioning for next season.

Carolina (-2.5) at Tampa Bay - Tampa decided that the 4th seed was good enough for them at halftime last week, so don't expect to see too many starters in this one for Tampa. Matt Moore, will continue to try and add to his growing legend in Carolina. The legend of the quarterback who took the starting job from a man old enough to be his father.

Cincinnati at Miami (+2.5) - Miami will take this opportunity to show Bill Parcells that he made the right decision coming back to the NFL. Then, instead of a Gatorade bath the team will present the Tuna with an officially licensed Dolphins Manziere.

Dallas at Washington (-9) - Brad Johnson versus Todd Collins. Plan on seeing this game replayed on ESPN classic for years to come.

Detroit (+3) at Green Bay - Only expect the Packers punter, Jon Ryan, to get any significant playing time among regular starters. He could probably use the extra reps.

Jacksonville (+6) at Houston - Jacksonville has their seed locked up in the AFC, but they could still use the momentum going into the playoffs. If they lay down for this one, how will announcers be able to justify their constantly telling us that this is the team no one wants to face in the playoffs?

New Orleans (-2) at Chicago - With the Saints as the only team playing for anything in this one, and the Bears already having won their "Super Bowl" last week, the Saints should continue to make the NFC playoff race interesting. Unless Reggie Bush tries to come back, of course.

Pittsburgh (-3.5) at Baltimore - Pittsburgh can still get the 3rd seed and Baltimore is starting Troy and Musa Smith. Game over.

Seattle at Atlanta (-1) - Seattle is locked into the three seed and will not risk injury going into the playoffs. Atlanta lost a heartbreaker last week, but looked good doing it. They still have enough left to win just to spite Bobby Petrino, and that should be motivation enough.

San Francisco at Cleveland (-10.5) - This is a tough game to figure out. Cleveland does not control anything going into the playoffs. If Tennessee wins the Browns are out, if the Titans lose, the Browns are in. But still, no team likes backing into the playoffs. Right, Giants fans?

Minnesota at Denver (+3) - Two terrible teams, with young quarterbacks who rely on their running games. The only difference is that in the NFC, a team like this is a playoff contender. After watching the Vikings try to choke away the playoffs for two weeks, they finally seal the deal with a loss this week.

San Diego at Oakland (+8) - San Diego can clinch the third seed with a win, but does it really matter if they get beat in New England or Indy in the second round?

St. Louis (+6) at Arizona - That sound you'll hear in Arizona and St. Louis at 4 PM Eastern will be the sound of every football fan fully realizing that this is the last week they have to watch the Cardinals or the Rams.

Kansas City (+6) at NY Jets - The Herm Edwards Bowl. Herm will be scouting Chad Pennington to see if he can be their QB next year. Jets fans in attendance will be scouting the stands for hot, drunk girls who look like they'd be willing to take off their tops. Good luck finding one of those in Jersey.

Tennessee (-4) at Indianapolis - The last game on the slate carries the most significance. Tennessee wins and they're in. Lose and the Browns are in. Who would have thought at the start of the season that Jim Sorgi would control the fate of the AFC playoffs?

Last week: 4-12
Season: 115-115-10